


What?

by Luna Draconis (LunaDraconis)



Category: Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: BAMF Women, BDSM, Consensual Kink, Demisexual Character, Dreki, Explicit Language, F/M, Female Friendship, Fluff, Fluff and Smut, Miu Miu, Multi, Not Canon Compliant, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, POV Female Character, POV Original Female Character, Polyamory, Romantic Soulmates, Sarcasm, Sass, Sassy, Sentient Mjolnir, Snark, Soulmate AU, Soulmate-Identifying Marks, Soulmates, Strong Female Characters, Tags May Change, dragon - Freeform, fuck gender norms
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-05-04
Updated: 2017-09-29
Packaged: 2018-06-06 07:56:16
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 25
Words: 30,521
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6745789
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LunaDraconis/pseuds/Luna%20Draconis
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>One sassy soul is finally finding her soulmate. . . Make that soulmates. All four of 'em. Not the she knows it. Her soulmate marks? No help. Whatsoever.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Dreki and Disappointment

**Author's Note:**

> This is just starting out, but the tags give you some hint as to where this is going.
> 
> So this came to after a discussion my friend, GhostxWriter, and I had about my dreams and plot bunnies, and Soulmate AU's and all sorts of other very good things. This is my story. 
> 
> If you like this concept, and want to see where GhostxWriter goes with it, check her version out here: http://archiveofourown.org/works/6762853/chapters/15456637

When I was younger, I couldn't wait for my soulmate mark to develop. I kept waiting for it, hoping that it'd be something beautiful, like a quote from a poem, or a deep thought. Yeah, yeah, I was naïve, but who wasn't, at that age? And then, one day, it started to happen. It took an hour for it to develop. I couldn't believe it. I stared at it for at least ten minutes before I started bawling like a child. I got it under control, sure, but I couldn't believe that _this_ was what I'd been looking forward to for so many years.

When my mother came home she flew into my room like a bat out of hell. "Is your soulmate mark developed? Can I see it?" 

I glared at her, willing her to leave.

She just stared back. "What?"

And just like that, the waterworks started again, mom standing there horrified, confused as to why I was so upset.

"Oh, honey, what's the matter? What is it?" I finally showed her the mark, formed on the inside of my thigh. There, in precise, smooth lines, sat my horrid soulmate mark. She read it aloud.

"'What?'"

* * *

A few days later, a new soulmate mark started forming. Multiple marks was odd, but not unheard of, so when it happened I was overjoyed. I hadn't dared to hope I would get a second chance. 

The mark started at my neck, and flowed down and around my upper arm. It took longer to develop than the first, but when it was finished, it was strangely beautiful. I ran to my mother, and together we wrote down the numbers, having no idea what they meant. I carried that number with me, thinking that it would show up randomly in a math class, or in a science lecture, but it never did. 

As the years went by, I gave up on the numbers. No one ever said them, and everyone and their mom starts conversations with "What?" so that was no help, either.

* * *

When I turned 20, two new marks developed, one on each hip. It started when I was showering. I looked down, and there they were, two dark smudges in my skin. I tried to wash them off before I realized what they were. 

By the time I was ready to leave for class, they were perfectly developed; one in a strong, confident hand, the other in flowing, elegant script. Neither was in English.

They were beautiful, and I almost made myself late for class, running my fingers over them, tracing them, wondering what they meant. After all these years, I wasn't getting my hopes up, but for now, I was willing to be content with just looking at them.

I debated telling my mother about the new marks. We'd grown apart over the years, but she was still my mother. In the end, I decided against it. She'd insist I should translate the words, and I'd never be able to see the beauty in them they way I did when I first got them. And because of my history with the other two marks, I had very little hope that the people who matched my marks would ever find me, or that we would recognize each other from our words. 

On my 21st birthday, I received my birthright. I come from a long line of dreki warriors. You know all those old sculptures and paintings of dragons? Yeah, from Quetzalcoatl to Bolla, all the way back to Kur, that's my family. And, yes, I'm related to Níðhǫggr, but he's the black sheep of the family - we don't talk about him. 

Of course, my mother pulled me aside and gave me "the talk." Okay, so it's not the talk that everyone else gets as they grow up - but it's the same concept. Things you already kind of know, with a bit of new (and, I suppose vitally important) information. Long story short, my talk is the "you are the keeper of humanity, and the guardian of justice" talk. No pressure, right?

Fortunately, as the world started to go to hell in a handbasket, the Avengers were formed. It takes a lot to get a dreki to step in (Obviously. I mean, when was the last time _you_ saw a dragon in real life?), but the world was at about that point, and I was ready - if a little unwilling - to step up to the plate. I never had to. 

At least, I didn't have to, until the Avengers went missing.


	2. You're Good. We're Better.

"I did it!" My housemate, Rin, burst into my room, tablets floating in tow. "I cracked the code!"

"What?" I looked up from my book, wondering what shenanigans she'd gotten up to now. 

She stopped dead in her tracks. "Wait, you knew?" She looked devastated. _What the hell?_

"Knew what, Rin?"

"Your soulmate mark says 'what,' that's what." _Has she lost her everlovin' mind? Of course I know that._

"Rin... we've talked about this. A lot. Of course it says 'what.' I've known that for years." Rin was a telepath and an energy-wielder. _I guess all that power was bound to take a toll some day... poor Rin..._

"You've- Oh! No, you dumbass. The numbers are binary code."

"What?!" I set down my tea, snapping my book closed.

"That's what it says, yes."

“Rin, we’ve talked about- I don’t want to- what the fuck were you think- … Wait… _What_ does it say?”

“What.”

“My soulmark. What does it say?”

“Luna, it literally says, ‘What.’ Just like the other one.”

_Fuck._

“Well, other _ones_ , technically.”

“Wait, what?” I tried to keep it together. “What are you talking about?”

“Oh! I finally translated your other ones, a couple days ago. They both say ‘what.’" She met my eyes. “What?”

I wanted to cry. But first, I wanted to kill four people, four very specific people. Only problem was, I’d have to find them first.

* * *

There’s a reason Rin and I have been friends for so long. First off, she can handle being around my energy. Second, she reads as null to me, and as dreki are empathic… that’s incredibly soothing for a companion. And third, she’s asexual, I’m demi. No awkward morning after bumps with one-night stands, but we both get companionship.

Lastly, she knows how to make me feel better. 

“Luna? It’s going to be okay…” She patted me on the back awkwardly, not the most comfortable with people being emotional. And I was possibly, kind of, somehow a tiny bit upset. Maybe. “You wanna go get your mind off it?”

“How?!” I practically yelled, trying to keep it together and not cry. My makeup from the lunch date I’d gone on earlier still looked good, and it was the only thing keeping me from bawling. What? I don’t like crying.

“Well… I just intercepted a message from S.H.I.E.L.D., and apparently, the Avengers have been captured. They’re being held in a facility in China.”

“I haven’t had a sparring session in a while…” I mumbled, turning the thought over in my head. “I could go for a good knock-down drag-out. Fuck it, let’s do this.”

“And if you’re still not feeling well, we pop back here to change, and go dancing for the rest of the night.”

“Perfect.” I would say I was feeling better already… But it’s hard to get over the fact that all four of your soulmates are unoriginal, uninspired dunces.

“If you pop us in here,” Rin said, pointing to a satellite image on her tablet, “we’re least likely to be detected. We’ll be able to get our footing and take stock before we go in.” 

I looked at the image, nodding. “Are you bringing anything on this jaunt? Weapons?”

“Oh, sweetie, you know I _am_ a weapon” Rin said with a smile. 

I shifted space to the exact place Rin had directed me to, and we started planning. Eventually, Rin brought out her tablet, and hacked the security cameras. “Oh, this is rich.”

“What?” I asked, peering over her shoulder at the tablet’s screen.

“All the Avengers are incapacitated.”

I could see the Avengers, their cells arranged along the edges of the circular room, the fronts of their cells being some sort of strengthened glass.

Thor and Cap’s cells seemed to have been reinforced with Vibranium… I could practically feel Rin itching to contact Wakanda to let them know… _I don’t think T’Challa will be happy about that…_

Black Widow seemed to have accepted her fate, which I found surprising. Maybe she was waiting for her chance? I found it odd that she wasn't doing… anything. 

“Why isn’t Black Widow doing anything?” Rin pulled up an older video of Romanov testing the cell, and Hawkeye paying the price. “Gotcha.”

Hawkeye was checking for any weaknesses, but he wasn’t going have any luck, looking at the specs.

Stark was lying on the floor in his suit, spread-eagled. Seemed like an odd choice of positions, but when you’re captured, I suppose there’s not much to do. Rin turned on the sound, and we could hear him giving a running commentary on what the last time he’d been in that position had entailed, and I could feel myself blushing. “That’s enough, Rin.” 

She smirked at me. “What, not your thing? You’re not gonna like this, then.”

She pulled up the image of Loki’s cell. He was held in midair by chains inscribed with so many anti-magic spells and runes that my heart twisted. I couldn’t imagine being so cut off from my abilities, including my magic. It’d be like losing a limb.

Sensing my distress, Rin flipped on to the Hulk, who seemed to be high as a kite. The sound was still on, so we were treated to his version of a children’s song in Hindi. He was changing the words, and it made Rin giggle like a maniac… I stared at her. It wasn’t _that_ funny.

Falcon was yelling insults at the security camera… none of them containing swear words. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t taking notes. But there really wasn’t much else he could do.

The Winter Soldier was pacing, his arm hanging limp. Even through the camera system I could feel his mind racing, feel him dragged through the past, and the moments where he snapped back to the present.

“Why isn’t he busting out with that arm of his?” I asked.

“EMP pulse took it out. It’s why Iron Man’s down, too.” _Aha._

“If this wasn’t so serious… this would pretty damn funny.”

Rin snorted. “It’s funny now!”

I quirked an eyebrow at her. “Every time we see them, we bring this up? Never let them live it down?”

“You bet your ass.” We laughed together a moment, before turning back to business.

“There’s some kind of charge or sigil carved into the foundation that will prevent you from leaving, any way but physically… I think that’s why Thor isn’t just calling his hammer. We’re going to want to blow the place when we’re through, otherwise we might leave some trace for others to follow. Then we stick around to make sure it doesn’t turn into a forest fire.”

“I agree,” I said, scanning the seemingly decrepit outbuildings. “Sure doesn’t look like much, though, does it?”

“No… Since we’re blowing the place, how much of a conscience do we have?”

“What?” That got my attention.

“The question is; do we kill the guards? If we knock ‘em out and leave them in the compound, that’ll kill them anyway. So do we let them die? Or do we save them, maybe drop them off on S.H.I.E.L.D.’s doorstep?”

“Knock ‘em out. They might have useful information, and we aren’t getting that if they’re dead.”

“You’re not wrong.” We grinned at each other, completely in our element. Ever since we’d met at the university, we’d been training for this. My mother had approved of my having someone who could keep up with me, keep me sane. And she’d liked having someone who had challenged her. We were a great pair. “Alright, I’ll get the security cameras, then I’ll haul ass to the control room.”

“And I’ll get the Avengers.”

“You’ve got your bracelet?” Rin had written code into these techy bracelets that kept us from showing up on cameras. After the anti-mutant movement, who could blame her? Don’t ask me how it works, tech is not my forte. 

“Of course,” I scoffed, showing her my wrist with a flourish. 

She pulled out two closed-circuit coms, handing one to me. “Go get em, tiger.”

I grinned at her, eyes glowing. “Oh, honey, tigers ain’t got nothin’ on me.”

We sped to the outbuilding holding the Avengers. Rin took out the guards with an energy pulse, knocking them out. 

“Nice!” I called out.

“Damn right! That’s nine right there!” She yelled back. Oh, so she was making this a competition, huh? _Challenge accepted, Gimli._

We fought through the compound, smoothly as a hot knife through butter. After years of training together, our fighting styles had melded together. We had found each other’s weaknesses, and would defend them to the death. Hey, what are friends for?  
After several minutes (though it felt longer), we reached the intersection where we had to part ways. “Watch your six!” I shouted to her, taking the corner. 

“Watch your ass!” I could hear the grin in her voice as I raced off, grinning myself now.

“92, 93, 94… ” I counted off as I fought through. _Two more left turns, then right…_ “137, 138…” _Now another left…_

I rounded the corner into a crowded room. _Oops!_ “175, 176…” I can’t help but wonder how Rin’s holding up… mainly because I want to know how many more people I’ve beat.

The last door. “Well?” I asked Rin, hoping she was in the main control room.

“You’re good to go, honey. I’m watching from here, I’ll time it so it looks as if you were the one doing everything you need to, because I think even your magic’s going to wonky with what they’ve got in there.”

“Copy that. Let’s go kick some honeybuns!”

I blasted the doors, and as they fell inward, I stepped up, pressing my advantage. The last two guards were off-balance from the unexpected attack. Rin must have hijacked their coms. I used some modified Aikido techniques to knock them out quickly, yet gently. _198, 199… Oh… that’s it. Damn, that was easy._

“You boys call for a rescue?” I grinned at them. _I am witty by my very nature._

And then they did it. The fucking idiots did it. They all stared at me and did the one thing that could possibly make my day worse. They said _it._

“WHAT?!”


	3. Damoiseaux in Distress

“Don’t you start with that!” And I’d thought I was angry before. I caught Hawkeye staring at me. _Right, EMP…_

“I said, ‘you boys call for a rescue?’” I signed to him. _Ah, lightbulb. Glad we’re all on the same page. Now…_

He signed back immediately. "What?"

_You know, I think I liked him better when he didn't know what was going on._

I continued signing to Hawkeye as I spoke. “Alright, as much as I’d love to leave y’all uninspired kids here, I said I’d get you out.” Rin, working hard at the control panel, slid the glass panels out of the way.

Rin piped up. "What are you- OH! EMP! Nice." I nodded to the security camera, and turned back to the group. 

“How many people did you bring?” Cap was already starting to strategize.

“I’ve got a girlfriend up in the control room? Don’t worry, we took care of all the guards already, grandpa.”

“Just… the two of you?” Poor Cap… I don’t think shock is good for people his age.

“Who else did you expect?”

“By the Norns, surely you jest?” I turned and looked at the god of thunder.

“I know… it hardly seems fair. Poor guys never had a chance." I could see Black Widow signing rapid-fire to Hawkeye, keeping him up to date. Good; one less thing I had to do. 

Thor clapped me on the back, looking thoroughly impressed. I could tell he was holding back, probably trying to protect me. I was, surprisingly, grateful: with the sigil in the floor, I wasn't sure I could have taken a whole-hearted blow. 

"Now, we've got to get out of this room before I can get you out of here. Thor, if you could get your brother?”

“He’s adopted.”

“Semantics. I’m guessing you’re more familiar with those chains than I am. I’ll get Iron Man. Captain, if you could grab Mr. Sunshine and Lollipops over here-” I gestured to Banner, “that’d be great. Let's get out of here.” 

I pulled Stark out of the suit and out into the hall, the others staggering behind me. Gotta love looking fresh as a daisy when you were the one kicking ass. Fuck gender norms, I love rescuing damoiseaux in distress. For some reason, Hawkeye was grinning at me like a loon.

“199, Rin!”

“207.”

“Fuck. You won. Wait a minute, I'm not supposed to lose! You know, if I’d killed them, I’d have won! Does that mean I get another shot?”

Romanov was eyeing me. I sighed. “Alright, next stop, Avenger’s Tower… I guess it’s good that you win once in a while.”

With that, I popped us back to Avenger’s tower or, as Rin likes to call it, Stark’s phallic tribute to his masculinity.


	4. Don't F*ck with Fate

Popping directly into the tower was probably not the wisest course of action, since who knows who is in there at any given time... I could have popped in on Cue Ball - better known as Nick Fury - on accident. But I was on a schedule, and I needed to clean out the guards and deliver them to S.H.I.E.L.D. before we could blow the proverbial popsicle stand. 

"On behalf of Dreki Airlines and the entire crew of two, I’d like to thank you for joining us on this trip. We are looking forward to never seeing you on board again. Have a nice evening!"

I turned to step away from the group, only to have Stark grab my wrist. "Um... Mr. Stark? This is your stop. 'All ashore that're going ashore?' Shoo." I pulled away, turning only to walk straight into a very broad chest. "Excuse me, Mr., um, Mr. Thor. I'm just gonna..." He crossed his arms over his chest. _Or not... Gods, but he's intimidating._

"So... what's going on?" The earpiece didn't even crackle. Whatever Rin had paid for this, it was worth it.

"'You boys call for a rescue?'" Came Tony's voice from behind me. I could feel his eyes bore into the back of my head. I turned to face him. That body, in a muscle shirt? Unfair.

"Okay, so I'm not as funny as I thought I was. Can I go now?" I replied. His eyes were searching my face... though for what, I couldn't say. 

He slowly lifted one arm, bringing his hand to the back of his head. "What-" My eyes were drawn to the writing on his arm. Very familiar writing...

My eyes widened. There, in my handwriting, looped around and over the corded muscle, were six words; " _You boys call for a rescue?_ "

"I- I.... Um... So! Um... You're.... Oh." _Slow claps for that speech, Luna. Damn, you're eloquent._

"Seriously, Luna, what's going on? Are you coming back? Are you okay?"

"Um, Rin? I... I think I found one of my soulmates." I was still in shock.

"You WHAT?!" came almost at the time as Tony's rumbling "Four."

"Hold on, Rin. What do you mean, ‘four?’" I glared at Tony.

He pointed at himself. "One." At Captain America. "Two." At Loki. "Three." At Thor. "Four." 

"This can't be happening..." I thought.

"It is." Tony replied. _Oh... Apparently shock makes some of my inside thoughts outside thoughts... good to know._

"Luna, am I hearing that right? Did you just find all four soulmates? In one go?"

"Um... Yeah?" The world was going a bit fuzzy from the shock. Cap guided me to one of the couches, and made me sit down.

"I didn't mean to offend you." Rin said.

"What?"

"I wasn't talking to you..." The world was still fuzzy. The boys were all talking to me, but I could only focus on Rin's voice, the familiarity of it. 

"I was hoping you’d let me pick you up so I could get you back to Thor—is that okay?.... Thor can wield you? .... Odin can wield you?" The rest of the world was falling away, greying out like a TV channel with bad reception. Her voice was a lifeline, keeping me conscious.

"Family of Thor can wield you? .... Oh, my god. I'm talking to Thor's hammer! . . . Oh shit, never mind, delete, delete, Christ I'm going to have to scrub my brain! I gotta think about something else... Luna? You there?"

"Yeah?" I managed. I could feel Cap tense next to me, leaning in.

"Did you slap them?" Rin's voice continued. Suddenly the world was in sharp focus again.

"Not yet, but I'm gonna!" I turned to Cap, and years of frustration poured into the satisfying _**THWACK!**_

Of his hand catching my wrist before my slap could connect. "Calm down." _Oh, this sexy bitch did not just tell me to- Sexy? Dammit, Luna, focus! - Did not just tell me to calm down!_

"How dare you! I've spent years with fucking 'What?' written all over my goddamn body!" Steve opened his mouth to reply.

"And if you say one goddamn word about the goddamn language, I'm going to make the Hulk look like a kitten!" His mouth closed. Somewhere behind me, Banner started giggling. "Give me my arm back!" Black Widow was signing rapidly to Hawkeye, whose eyes had gone wide.

Stark was smirking like a jackass "I don't know what you're laughing about, Tin Man. I ought to slap you, too!" His smile faltered, then fell away.

From the other side of the room came an "Oh, I like her." from Hawkeye. Everyone turned to stare at him, but I didn't have the heart to yell at him. So I'm an old softy. Sue me.

"To hell with this, I'm getting out of here. I've got work to do. You know what? Rin, we're going out after this. I need a stiff drink." 

"Roger that, Dragonbreath!"

"We need to talk about this." Tony had fire in his eyes. 

Clearly he hadn't watched Game of Thrones.

I returned his glare as I continued. "And Rin? Let's go get me laid." I popped back out of sight.


	5. Gift Bows and Bayonets

I arrived back at the compound - still fuming - to see the place more empty than I had left it. 

"I cleaned up my half!" Rin told me, walking past with the Iron Man suit. 

"Yeah, yeah, I'm on it." I found a nearby stool. "Higitus figitus."

"What the hell are you doing?" Rin had stopped to look at me.

"Did... did you not watch the Sword in the Stone?"

She looked at me blankly. "You... are one odd duck."

Well, she could say what she wanted, but all of my knock-outs were filing out in an orderly fashion. Granted, they weren't all right-side up, but it was fun. I hummed to myself as I led the line of unconscious soldiers out to the grass. She'd made a fancy bow out of gun belts and some other things I didn't recognise. "Ooooh! I like the aesthetic!"

"Thanks." She set Cap's shield down on the grass, next to the Iron Man suit, Falcon's wings, a bow and quiver, a set of knives with hourglass engravings, Loki's helmet, and a machine gun - which I assumed was the Winter Soldier's. "I'm thinking we send all of the soldiers to S.H.I.E.L.D. wrapped in bows."

"And the Avenger's stuff in gift wrap?" I grinned at her.

"You read my mind."

I walked back into the building, reaching out with my mind to find the camouflage nets. _That should do nicely._ I pulled it out, and cut the material to a suitable width. I'd just finished my lot when Rin walked up, a pair of eyeglasses in hand that looked to be Bruce Banner's.

"We've got a problem." She didn't look happy.

"What problem?"

"Thor's hammer."

 _Shit._ I hadn't thought about that. "How did they get it inside?"

"Looks like they scooped out the surrounding cement, used a forklift... It's going to be a pain in the ass."

We walked back to the room that held Mjolnir, and probably had held the other items as well. It sat toward the back on a pile of concrete at the back of the room, resolute. _Odd... It feels... Nah, it couldn't be._

"It hissed at me earlier." 

"Yeah... Wait, what?" I scrutinized Rin's face, trying to see if she was joking... it seemed she wasn't.

"It hissed at me. Apparently, it's sentient."

Did you... Never thought I'd say this... Did you ask it if it would let you return it to Thor?"

"No deal... I'll go try to find the forklift."

"Hold on." I said, but she was already off on her quest. I walked over to over to Mjolnir. _He feels- He? He. He feels like an old friend._ I ran my hand along the leather-bound grip, which seemed to hum happily under my hand. _I wonder... Oh! I guess so!_ “Hey, Rin?” I yelled.

“What d’you want? I’m workin’ over- HOLY CRAP! You can lift it?”

"What, like it's hard? Let's wrap things up here, literally and figuratively. I've decided I'm going to get laid tonight, dammit!" _I mean, sure, I'm demisexual... but I don't have to be sexually attracted to someone to have sex!_ Ah, yes. I'm so logical when I'm mad.


	6. Takin' Care of Business

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the point at which GhostxWriter's version and mine diverge.

Having blown the facility, Rin and I did the responsible thing and stayed until we were sure the fire was out, cold to the touch. _Insert Smokey the Bear reference here._ Rin kept watch on any and all news coverage, which was only to be expected after an explosion. The crews took a surprising amount of time to arrive, and we were ready to leave by the time they showed up. We waited until the broadcast made it to the U.S. news stations. Rin pulled up an internal feed of Avenger's tower, where the Avengers were watching the broadcast. Cueball *ahem* Fury stormed in soon after, yelling about where they had been, and why it had taken so long for them to get free, eventually working his way around to the question of how they had gotten out.

I could feel Rin tense beside me, echoing my reaction. The bracelets accounted for electronic surveillance, but eyewitnesses required some mind tampering. It was doable, but I didn't particularly like to do it to someone. How would you feel if a chunk of your life just went missing? 

To our surprise, none of the Avengers mentioned anything to do with us, claiming instead that there had been a lapse in security which allowed them to escape. Fury didn't look like he bought it 100%, but there wasn't really much he could say. He finally gave up.

I dropped Rin off in Wakanda while I dealt with the the Avengers' belongings, and zapped in with them a moment later, placing them behind the Avengers' chairs, fully wrapped in gift wrap. I hunkered down behind each chair, so as not to be seen, but Hawkeye and Black Widow saw me anyway. Black Widow simply gave me an almost imperceptible nod, and Hawkeye gave me a small wave when no one was looking his way. I waved back, sheepishly. What? The guy was growing on me.

I grabbed the unconscious men last, dropping them on S.H.I.E.L.D.'s doorstep. _Fury's gonna lose it when he sees this..._ I grinned to myself.

Having completed my duty, I went and retrieved Rin. 

"How did it go?"

"As well as could be expected, considering. I offered to help him take down whoever was doing the smuggling. He took me up on it, of course." She winked at me. Rin's had a casual kink partnership with T'Challa for years, and obviously this trip wasn't going to be just for business.

"Want me to take you?"

She frowned at me. "I can afford it, you know." Rin was a best-selling author, though under a nom de plume and without a picture. We both enjoyed our anonymity. 

"I'm well aware of that. But you won't be able to wear your bracelet through security, and we're flying under the radar, remember?" I started fixing myself a drink.

"Fuck, I didn't think about that... Yeah, you'll have to take me."

"Only if I get to hear all about it."

"Luna, I don't whip and tell. You know that."

I lifted my eyebrows at her. We'd told T'Challa long ago that there were no secrets between us, and he'd had no issue with it. "Come on, I gotta live vicariously through _someone_ ," I whined

"Fine, fine. I'll let you know when I need you to take me."

"Roger that." I flopped down on the couch, drink in hand. Rin soon joined me.

"I'm glad you've calmed down."

"Calmed down?" I asked.

"Yeah... I thought you were actually going to go pick up some guy in a bar."

All at once I remembered how pissed I had been. The anger and frustration that I had tucked away because they were inconvenient rushed back, hitting me all at once. I grinned at her.

"My car? Or yours?"


	7. What Could Go Wrong?

Stop me if you've heard this one before: an Asexual and a Demisexual walk into a bar, planning to get a dragon laid. 

What? You haven't heard it? Oh, goody. Then this will be all new to you. Buckle up, it's gonna be a bumpy ride...

Rin had offered to drive, but I was on the prowl. Her matte black Aston Martin One-77 was all understated elegance, not smooth sex. So we took my car. My Lamborghini Centenario LP 770-4. The sleek lines had drawn me to it like a moth to a flame, but I didn't hear the pounding of the gavel until I saw that the doors did the "whoosh" thing. I love the "whoosh" thing (aka scissor doors, if you want to get technical). The custom red detailing against the carbon fiber frame... pure sex. The perfect setting for a fling, right?

I found us a little dive bar, where we were unlikely to run into anyone we knew. Rin followed along at a safe distance, not wanting to "throw off my groove." I quickly sought out a well-built man with shaggy red hair. My preferred physical "type" if I had to point one out, but not resembling any of my damn soulmates from the neck up. 

I was three drinks and thirty minutes in when I realized my mistake... No matter how mad I was, _this_ wasn't going to help anyone, least of all me. As a demisexual woman, I can find strangers aesthetically appealing, but I don't find them sexually appealing. This was never going to work, and I had cooled down enough to finally realize it. Problem was, I didn't know how to politely extricate myself from the conversation. He had turned down several other potential hookups, even within the short span that we were talking, and by that time, the potential pickings for him were slim. Rin was having to deflect right and left, being a beautiful woman alone. Even women who looked to be there with someone were getting hit on by that point. I'm a firm believer that you don't owe anyone anything sexually, but I also try to be polite when I can.

"Well, it's getting late..." I trailed off as I took a step back. He immediately stepped in to me, his size intimidating. 

"Maybe you should come get some 'rest' at my place." He leered at me, and my stomach turned.

"No, I think I'd rather go home..."

"Sure, I don't care where we go." He ran one hand up and down my arm, and I quickly glanced over my shoulder at Rin.

"Actually, I've got a roommate... Speaking of which, I'm her ride, so..." I pulled away, backing towards Rin. I could feel her eyes on my back, analyzing the tension across my shoulders, feeling out the situation.

"We can call her a taxi, then go to my place... No problem."

"Um-"

"Actually, we have work in the morning." Rin stepped up beside me. "And I'm not going anywhere without her." We turned to leave.

We didn't even make it two steps before his hand closed around my elbow. 

Funny thing about Dreki... We spend our whole lives training to keep the world safe. Our childhood isn't spent on dolls or toys, but rather on weapons training and hand to hand combat. The moment his hand closed on my elbow, he was doomed. Almost before my mind could process what had happened, I had him face-down in a standing pin. Rin had a knife out from Gods-only-know where, ready to throw.

I kept my hold on his arm, dropping to a kneeling pin. "You, sirrah, will _never_ raise your hand to a lady like that again. Do you understand me?" When he didn't answer, I leaned into his arm, increasing the pressure on his shoulder until he grunted in pain. "We owe you _nothing._ If a woman agrees to sleep with you, you should be fucking honored, but you don't get to just take. And if you do, boy," I lowered my voice, and practically hissed into his ear. "I will find you. And I will show you exactly why they called for the Geneva Conventions. 'Inhumane' doesn't even begin to cover what I will do to you, do you understand?" I didn't do anything more to him physically, but I pressed with my energy and my anger as I spoke. The response out of him this time was a panicked whimper. I sat back and slid my sunglasses out of my purse, slipping them on to conceal my glowing eyes.

I stood, stepping over the growing yellow puddle he had made, linking arms with Rin as we made our way to the door. One of the female bartenders whispered a thank you to us as we passed, the others nodding their agreement. I got the impression that the boy I'd just put down was a regular, and not one of the ones they looked forward to. We gave them a smile and a nod, but didn't break stride. 

My hands had a slight shake to them when we got to the car, so Rin took the keys and the driver's seat. The adrenaline racing through my body felt incredible. Years of training, and I'd always dreaded my birthright... But the adrenaline... I could feel the addiction forming, the need for another fix of adrenaline, but also for that sense of justice I'd given the bartenders. I could understand why generation after generation of Dreki had taken up the cause: the sensation was intoxicating.

When we got back to the apartment, Rin sat on our couch, gesturing me over. I sprawled across her lap, giving her my back so she could give me 'scritches.' I don't know what it is about getting our backs scratched, but all Dreki I know of liked it. Rin says we're like oversized cats. And of course I always tell her to call me when cats can fly and spit fire... so far she hasn't made that call. The last thing I was aware of before drifting off to sleep was Rin turning on the TV to some show she liked, using one hand to smooth my hair, the other to give me scritches.


	8. Friendless as Fáfnir

"Hand me your bracelet."

Rin looked at me like I'd grown a second head. "... Why?"

"If I remember my classes correctly, the Norse Gods had a dude called 'Heimdallr,' who's able to see everything... Don't think about that when you're- Right, you don't masturbate. Put me off it for a month when I first heard about him. Gives me the heebie-jeebies-" She did the 'move it along' motion with one hand. "Right, getting to the point. We'll have to block him magickally. Thor's bound to ask him for help, so it's just a matter of time, really." 

Rin handed it over with a "don't ruin it," and I set up my magickal block to complement her technological one. I could only hope we weren't too late, and no one had thought of Heimdallr yet, or that he was just a myth.

After our rough night, we'd returned to our regular lives. It was crazy to think that just yesterday we'd been saving the Avengers, and that I'd found all four of my soulmates. Not to mention _who_ those soulmates were. Rin was working on her next best-seller, I was researching festivals in Indonesia. With my newfound appreciation for my Dreki job/birthright, I'd started in on something my mother had taught me ages ago: to want to save the world, you have to appreciate the world. She, like most teachers, had started with the Greeks and Romans, as their myths are very well-documented, and she thought the movies would get me interested in my role in the universe.... It hadn't. Since I had a new take on it, I'd started up again, with a map on the dartboard. The first spot I hit being Indonesia. After perusing the information on the festivals for a few hours, I started to realize how much my body hated being hunched over the computer. I needed a break.

"Rin?"

"Yeah?" 

"Wanna watch a movie?"

She sighed, turning from her keyboard. "You know I'm on a tight schedule. How about tonight, after dinner?"

Well, that was a reasonable option, but... "I'm bored now."

"So go find someone to watch a movie with. I have to get this done, especially if I want to be able to help T'Challa."

Yeah, like I had a lot of friends. There's a reason Smaug didn't throw house parties...


	9. Men and Movie Nights

So what do you do when your only friend is busy and you're bored out of your mind? Theoretically you would go make new friends, but we were lying low. So where could I go make a friend fast enough to watch a movie with them without running the risk of being caught? _Hmmm... I think I have an idea..._

* * *

I was greeted by the ever-friendly arrow fired at me. I knew there was a reason I had a soft spot for him. 

I grabbed it out of midair before it could make contact, then glanced up at a rather astonished Clint Barton. He had another arrow notched and ready, but it was pointed at the ground. 

"Very friendly, I'm sure." I tried to joke. 

"Sorry," he grinned sheepishly. _Oh, good, he got new hearing aids._ "Wait, what are you doing here? They've been looking for you all day." 

"They?" 

"Your-" he lowered his voice. "Your soulmates. They're going crazy looking for you." 

"Oh, they can suck it up. They've gone years without me, and they did just fine. Better than fine, really." 

"So you're just going to let them suffer?" He looked rather pained, and his thoughts were projecting that something had happened between him and his wife - _Wife? I didn't know he was married_ \- when they had first discovered each other. 

"Look, between Stark's electronic prowess, and Cap's sheer dumb luck, they'll eventually track me down. But that's not why I'm here." 

"Why are you here, then?" 

I produced a quart of mint chocolate chip ice cream from behind my back. 

"You wanted to bring me... ice cream?" 

I sighed. "So, I wanted to watch a movie, but my friend's busy. And I didn't know who else to ask..." 

"What movie?" 

"I dunno... Never mind. It was a dumb idea." I turned to leave, but he was there. He took my hand and led me to the couch in the living room of his private quarters. 

"I'll go make the popcorn. You figure out what movie you want to watch." 

_I think.... I think I just made a friend!_

We finally settled down to watch _The Fifth Wave_ , making fun of it the entire time. "Why do they have the lights on their helmets? They're doing nothing." 

"I don't know." He replied. 

"It's like they're saying 'shoot us, we're idiots!'" 

"Maybe they think it's only fair, since the aliens' heads glow?" 

We laughed so hard I almost spilled my drink. 

Finally, I went home, a new number in my cellphone, with the promise that I would call before popping in again. But we would definitely be having movie nights in the future.


	10. Drinking Tea and Darn Tired

When I arrived back at our apartment, Rin was lounging on the couch. "Where did you go?"

"Hawkeye's." I sauntered on toward my room. 

"Ah. What?" She flew over to me. "What do you mean 'Hawkeye's?' Doesn't he live with the Avengers?" 

"Yeah, but he had Stark disable J.A.R.V.I.S. in there a while ago. It was perfectly safe."

"He just let you waltz on in there? Into his home?" 

"He fired an arrow, but it was fine. He didn't raise the alarms, and I made a new friend." I beamed at her.

"Of course you did."She returned to her spot on the couch. "And I suppose you're planning on doing it again?"

"I am." I took a seat next to her. "And he's okay with it... Though I think he's upset at me for not going to talk to my soulmates."

"He could be telling them you visited right now. You realize that, right?" 

I played with my sleeve. "I... I think he understands that I'm still... I'm a bit upset about them. And he's not going to tell them. He wants me to do it, so he's going to keep pushing, I'm sure, but he wants it to be my decision. I could read it in him."

"Fine. But you're playing with fire, Luna. It's just a matter of time before one of the Avengers walks in and finds the two of you buddying up. And when that happens, they'll find a way to track you down. Come hell or high water, they're going to try to find you then." 

I whipped up a pair of cups of tea out of midair, fixed just the way we liked them. A cup of Earl Grey milk tea made with sweetened vanilla almond milk with one lump of sugar for me (yes, I'm a tea snob, so sue me); a cup of hot oolong, straight, for Rin. What? Sometimes it's good to be Dreki. "They're looking now." 

"Not as carefully as they could be." She accepted her cup, blew on it, and took a sip.

"Hawkeye mentioned that Stark has J.A.R.V.I.S. checking for visual anomalies all over the city. Anywhere there's a camera."

"Shit." 

"That's about what I thought, yeah."

"We're going to have to stay off camera."

"My sentiments exactly." I stared into the creamy comfort in my hands. "I think we're going to have to go have some 'remote lunches' in the coming weeks, or we're going to get cabin fever." We'd started having 'remote lunches' back when we'd been in college. When the pressure from classes started getting to us, we got into the habit of popping out to somewhere else, lunches in hand. Usually places that were lush and verdant, but occasionally we just grabbed some money and went for lunch in a different country.  


"Shouldn't be too much of a problem, though, right? I mean, it's not like we don't have the funds to go off on a vacation. If it comes right down to it, you can work from anywhere."

We grimaced at each other. We weren't exactly the outdoorsy type, but we were very fond of our freedom. The alternative, however, was turning myself over to the oafs that fate thought were a good match for me. And fate's a dumbass, so that wasn't happening.

Rin set down her cup, got up, and grabbed the Atlas that my grandmother had passed down to me. She started leafing through pages, making lists of places she would like to go for lunch. I'd add my options later. 

As she started getting ready for bed, I started turning on the security system. With the lowerable window-tint in place, no camera would be able to see inside our apartment, and it would even take care of heat signatures. It was one of my father's inventions for whenever we didn't want to be in human form. I'm sure he never thought it would be used like this. I looked at the clock and sighed. 2 AM. It was going to be a long night.

I shuffled to my own bathroom, knowing we'd both be in our rooms pretending to sleep. Our version of an insomniac help group is to leave each other alone so that maybe at least one of us could sleep. We're thoughtful like that.

'Goodnight, Luna.' Whispered through my head.

'Goodnight, Rin.' I thought back.

And so began another long night of tossing and turning.


	11. Shooters and Shenanigans

I didn't get to see 'Hawky' for a while. I had gotten into the habit of sneaking out with Rin to some skeevy places to bring order and justice. The Dreki way. I was enjoying it, Rin not as much. It helped with the cabin fever, though. And when Rin got the call from Wakanda, I happily brought her there. She made me promise to keep more or less out of sight, and to keep my head down as much as possible. Which, of course, meant I was going to have a house party.

Given that there was only one person to invite made it a little less hectic than most, of course. I sent out the text, asking if he wanted me to come get him, or if he wanted to drive, making sure he wasn't followed. He decided to drive, so I sent him the address, and moments later he was at my door with some hard cider and bags of microwave popcorn.

I felt like the quintessential teenage girl, despite my 24 years of age. We sat on the couch, talking about everything and nothing. His wife, my soulmates, the fact that I was demisexual, whether I should cut my hair shorter... Everything. We talked at least an hour before we popped the first movie in. By the end of the the movie, we were cuddling. Yes, platonically. And yes, we got the 'okay' from his wife, because I'm a goody two-shoes.

All in all, a fantastic evening. We made plans for me to come over the next night to his private quarters to hang out again, maybe even go out patrolling in the areas of town too dingy to have cameras.

* * *

I gave Hawky a two-minute warning text, in case anyone was around before I zapped in. The place smelled like hot butter. I showed him the vanilla ice cream I'd grabbed, which he frowned at. Until I showed him the root beer. Growing up is over-rated. We made our floats, then settled in for Monty Python. We were into the second skit when the door opened, and we both froze. I could feel the eyes drilling into the back of my head. The door closed quietly, and the lock clicked into place. I debated standing and zapping out, when the voice came from behind us.

"Does your wife know about this?" Came Nat's cool tone. I whipped around, and watched her eyes widen. " _You?_ "

"Yeah, she does." Hawkeye broke in. "We're having a movie night. Might go crime-fighting later. You in?"

Her cool, green eyes slid to him. "Do _they_ know she's here?"

"No, and we're going to keep it that way." They stared at each other for a moment.

"Melted butter on top?" Nat's question threw me for a loop.

"You know it." Hawky's eyes were sparkling with laughter.

"Scoot over."

Suddenly, I was having a movie night with two of the Avengers. Everyone acted like this was completely normal, though I for one was freaking out on the inside. Rin might be getting her kink needs met - and I might be incredibly jealous of that fact - but I was hanging out with the Avengers and getting cuddled! Dang, I'd have to send her to Wakanda more often....

By the end of the movie, I knew I had to go get some fighting in. I can only sit in one position for so long, so my muscles were screaming for a change. "You guys wanna go hit a dive bar? They're having some trouble right now."

Natasha's eyes were intent, analyzing me. "How do you know?"

"It's a Dreki thing." I replied with a shrug.

"You said that word before. What does that mean?"

"It's Old Norse for 'dragon.'" I explained my heritage roughly, not wanting to give her too much information. The woman's too smart for me to give her too many hints. That'd ruin the fun! "You in, or not?" I knew I could handle it by myself, but it's always more fun to fight with a partner. More engaging.

"We'll come along," she answered, looking to Hawkeye for verification. "But only as back-up. We'll keep a low profile."

"Roger that." I sighed. It's not the same as fighting in tandem, and I knew I didn't need the help.

* * *

As the last gang member finally fell unconscious, I dropped him to the floor, stepping over the scattered bodies. I ambled over to the bar, and finished my drink. One of the bartenders slid a ten dollar bill across the bar.

"What's that for?" I asked, surprised.

"I'm paying for your drink. I wish I could do more, but I've got bills to pay." 

I stared him down across the bar. "Keep it, I can afford it."

"You don't understand, ma'am. Damage on my shift comes out of my paycheck. If you hadn't come along and put a stop to it, at best we'd be paying for a couple broken tables and chairs. At worst, we'd be cleaning up blood and bullet holes, plus the broken furniture."

I gave him a long, lingering look, then pulled out my wallet under the bar. I counted out a few bills, stuffing them into an envelope that had been hanging out at the bottom of my purse. I handed it across the bar. "Split this when I leave." I raised a hand before he could argue. "It's my tip." I said, stuffing the ten into my wallet. "Have a nice evening." I called over my shoulder as I stepped out into the night.

"You, too!" He called back.

There in the darkness, my two favorite Avengers materialized beside me. 

"What did you give him?" 

"What's it to you, Hawky-poo?" I grinned.

"Money." Nat answered, not taking her eyes off me. "A lot of it."

I sighed. "Two of the bartenders have kids. The other's dad is in the hospital. They needed the cash, I had it."

"3000% is one hell of a tip." 

I shrugged. "It was one hell of a night. Besides, it was good to get in a little exercise. You guys up for another movie?"

"Monty Python and the Holy Grail?" Hawky-poo offered. _That is officially his name now. He didn't say anything about it, so that's his name._

"Sounds good to me." I smiled, and grabbed their hands. "We're off to see the movie, the wonderful movie of Grails. Because, because, because, because, becauuuuuuuse! Because of the wonderful jokes it... entails?" 

They gave me an odd look, and just like that, we were back at the tower.


	12. Living Vicariously is Still Living, Right?

"And the last day, I shoved him up against one of the walls outside, just toeing the line of discovery, and I yanked his shirt and suit jacket out of the way and sank my teeth into the space where neck meets shoulder until he was shuddering and gasping, pinned between me and the wall, knees too weak to support himself...." Rin ran her hand through my hair, her acrylic nails skimming along my scalp in the most delightful way. Thanks to the past hour of living vicariously, I was fully in subspace, and Rin was helping me stay there with my favorite end-of-day pastime: scritches. "And when he was mostly back, I had to help him do up his shirt and jacket, fix his tie, and casually walk back inside. He was still glassy-eyed..." She casually wrapped my hair around her fist. "And of course I had to flog him over the royal desk." She used my hair to turn my head to look at her. "I flogged him until he was shaking, so far gone he'd forgotten his own name, and all he could remember was mine."

"Fuck" was all I could manage as shudders wracked my body. I was so far gone, I wasn't sure I could remember what my soulmate marks said. The world was shining and bright, and Rin's smug smile was all I could focus on. _I need to get myself a good scene partner... And then I'm sending them to Rin for notes._

"He'll never be able to look at that desk again without thinking of me." She ran her nails up my mostly bare back. The two of us were platonic friends, and after years of training together and living together, I'm pretty sure I could have walked around naked without her caring. As it was, for scritches my go-to outfit was pj bottoms and a sports bra, so that my back was left bare for any extra scritches she might deign to give.

"Damn..." _Ah, my vocabulary is expanding. Excellent._ "Excellent."

"Oh? You liked that, did you?" The shiver that ran down my spine told her that yes, in fact, I did. "I'm thinking next time I go down there I should try an exercise in vulnerability. Him, kneeling naked but for a blindfold, vulnerable and on display... his wrists crossed behind his back..."

"Yummmm" Came the languorous reply. I was floating away on a cloud of subspace.

"And later, if he's good, I'll let him sit at my feet and lean against me while we watch TV."

 _And just when I thought I couldn't get any higher._

Rin turned my face to get a good look at me. "You're gone, aren't you?"

"Woooohoooo" was the eloquent response. _High-functioning sub. Yes, Ma'am._

"Thought so." She stopped with the scritches, to my dismay. Instead, she switched to petting along the curve of my back, using her other hand to smooth my hair. Eventually, she used her hands to braid my hair, taking care not to pull to give me a chance to come back down to normalcy. We sat quietly for a moment, letting the soft sounds of my "subspace mix" from my iPod play through our apartment. "You back?" she finally asked.

"Yeah... I think I am."

"So how'd you get on while I was gone?"

"Oh, you know, had a movie marathon, hung out with Hawky-poo, met Natasha, got cuddles... the usual."

Her lips quirked in a new type of smile. "Hawky-po- Wait, Natasha? As in Natasha _Romanov_?"

"Well, yeah. Who else? Anyway, I had to run down to this bar-"

"Wait, slow down. You met Black Widow?"

"Yesh?"

"And you didn't say anything?!"

I met her stern gaze solemnly. "Subspace was calling and I am a desperate woman." Truth is the best policy, right?

"Luna- What is your middle name again?"

"Fearna Sedertre Ansuz."

"Luna Fearna Sedertre Ansuz Draconis! Holy shit, how many names does a person need?"

I shrugged. "More a question of how many names a Dreki needs."

"Ah. Wait, you're sidetracking me. What was Natasha doing there?"

"She walked in on my cuddle time with Hawkeye."

"You were... _cuddling_ with _Hawkeye_?"

"Umm... yeah."

"And?"

"And she walked in, we watched a movie, no biggie."

"Shit."

"What?"

She gave me a hard look. "You realize she can track us down, right?"

"Yeeees, but I trust she's a woman of her word. She said she wouldn't say anything about me to the Avengers. She'll probably know where we live, but she won't help J.A.R.V.I.S. track us down."

"... Fine. This seems like a bad idea, but there's nothing I can do about it now." She sighed, and I took that as my cue to go. "...Luna?" 

"Yeah?"

"Just... be careful. Okay?"

"Always."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shout out to GhostxWriter, who keeps on my case to write more b/c she's rather invested in this story :D


	13. Besties and Betrayal

"And almond milk!"

"Luna, I've lived with you _how_ long? Of course almond milk's on the list. Vanilla, sweetened. I got it." She did that fancy one-eyebrow raise at me. _I hate that she can do that._

"Thaaaaank you!" I gave her my sweetest smile, and was rewarded with one final "hmph." as she ran out the door. She didn't mean anything by it; she's not the best at showing her emotions, and doing things like shopping was her way of showing she loved me. And I knew it.

 _Well, now what do I do?_ I shuffled around the empty apartment for a few minutes before settling down in my comfy chair. I pulled the sinfully-soft blanket around me for a moment, before stripping off my pyjama top, cuddling back in in my pyjama shorts and sports bra. "Yes." I sighed, turned the TV on, and scrolled through the channels, not wanting to admit that I was looking for any news about the Avengers and my soulmates.

The sound of The Trashmen brought my attention back to my cell phone. _Oh! Hawky-poo!_ What, like my ringtone for him was going to be anything other than Surfin' Bird? He wasn't calling, but there was a new text message from him: 'So i was Thinking And maybe we could have anotheR movie day, you Know It's So muCh fun tO spend tiMe wIth someoNe outside the avenGers. ANyway, Do you tHink you'll bE home? I'd Sometime today would Probably work best. IS that Sounding okEy, Dragon?'

 _Holy crap, could he have made any more errors?_ 'Yeah! Sure :) Stop by anytime. My housemate's out atm, but she'll be coming back, and you should meet her anyway.' _Do I change into clothes? .... Nah. It's just Hawky-poo, maybe Natasha. They won't care._ I snuggled back down into my chair/blanket nest, content to wait. I settled on a rerun of a kid's show I'd watched growing up, and let the minutes slide by.

* * *

The knock (finally) sounded on my door a while later. _It must not have taken him too long to shake anyone watching him._ I untangled myself from the blanket and threw open the door. "HAWKY-POO!"

"Hawky- _what_?" Who says it's hard to ruffle Tony Stark's feathers? All it takes is one repentant looking Hawk, and one overly-excited dragon.

I slammed the door, but there was one iron-clad hand (okay, a gold titanium alloy, you know what I mean), in the way. The world went slightly green as magic encased the door, forcing it open.

"Fuck!" I hadn't expected this.

The room was swarming with Avengers, though only four of them stepped into me. Hawkeye, Natasha, and Bruce stood against the wall by the entryway. They weren't taking part, and seemed to be there only to observe. Stark, Loki, Thor, and Rogers all pressed inwards, as I backed into the main living area.

"What are you doing here?"

"You are joking, yes?" Thor's eyes were as electric as his powers, the anger palpable. "You are our Soulmate, and you have been hiding from us."

"How the hell did you find me?" I wasn't touching the 'Soulmate' issue with a twenty-foot pole. "I'm invisible to cameras, and I haven't been hanging out on Asgard or anything."

"J.A.R.V.I.S. watched for anomalies. Any time someone paid their bill without showing up on camera, he tracked it. Eventually, we were able to see the blank spot in traffic, track our way back to your house." Stark started sauntering toward me, his seemingly casual stride setting my every hair on end. "Did you really think that you could hide from me? From _us_?"

"Well, that was the plan..." He finally made the mistake of reaching for me, and the fight was on. I pulled him into a throw, and sent him flying into one of my comfy chairs. _I could have thrown him harder than that... why didn't I?_ I didn't have time to think about it before Rogers was diving in to try to calm me down. I sent him spinning into Thor just as the world went green again. My eyes lit up as I sent a fireball flying towards Loki, who blocked it at the last second. 

"Four on one? That hardly seems fair. What's a poor girl to do?"

The four of them were on their feet again, wary of me now. "Luna, we don't want to fight-" Rogers had his hands up in a pseudo-surrender, but I wasn't going to fall for that. A roundhouse kick to the solar plexus, and he was down again.

"Too bad, boys. I've been itching for one all day." A flicker of magic caught my eye, and I sent it spinning back toward Loki and Thor, expanding the original spell with a burst of my own magic. It caught them both, and I had a fraction of a second to enjoy the sight of them struggling against Loki's binding spell before Stark once more was reaching for me.

I pulled him through one of my favorite techniques, ending in a standing pin. For the moment, I only had one hand free, and was limited in how far I could move without injuring Stark. I didn't want to hurt him, which surprised me. But at the end of the day, I didn't want to be anyone's Soulmate, either. A glance reassured me that the other Avengers were staying out of it. And now that the only truly human Soulmate was out of the picture, I could be a little less careful. Loki finally broke through the binding spell, and he began to circle me. I could tell that both he and Thor were scanning for weaknesses, in their own ways. Steve ran back in, and I had to modify a technique to be completely stationary and one-handed. Morihei Ueshiba would be proud. He ended on the floor at my feet, and - foolish dragon that I am - I turned my attention to the demigods. I had just thrown them both to the ground with an energy pulse when my legs were swept out from under me by the Star-Spangled Pain in My Ass.

Stark quickly put me in a pin of his own. I zapped the other three out to the sidewalk below as I tried to figure out how to get out of the perfectly executed pin. I couldn't pop out of it, unless I wanted to injure my shoulder. It would heal quickly, but wasn't wise mid-fight. _Oh! Why didn't I think of that earlier?_

It's hard to hold on to someone when they're human one second, and in the next they're decidedly.... not. I shifted into a small dragon form, slightly larger than the average housecat. 

"What the hell?" Tony tried to make sense of it. _I guess he doesn't see a dragon every day._ I flicked my tongue derisively at him, before making my way toward the open door to the balcony. Loki, Thor, and Steve suddenly appeared over the railing, Thor and Steve gaping at the sight of the tiny mythical creature. Loki seemed to take it in stride rather well as he levitated them onto the balcony. _Damn him._

I shifted back into human form, throwing Tony again. He hit the wall next to the main bookshelf in the living room, just as I heard the door open, followed in short order by another "What the hell?" _Ah, Rin's home. Fantastic._

I recalculated quickly. _Rin'll take on Stark and Rogers, I'll take the demigods. This'll be almost too easy._

"You've got to let them fight it out." Nat's voice broke through.

"Like hell! They almost ruined my bookshelf!" Rin replied. _That's my girl!_

Loki and Thor were doing some non-verbal communication, which was setting me on edge. Steve was looking at Rin, trying to assess if she was a threat. Tony seemed to be checking me over for any signs of injury... I think the shift in form had thrown him for a loop.

"Popcorn?" I spared a glance toward the couch the other Avengers had moved to. Hawkeye had managed to procure a bag of popcorn from who-knows-where, and they were now sharing it. _I guess if you have to sit on the sidelines, you might as well make a day of it._ I understood why he was staying out of it.

'Luna?' Rin's voice was in my head.

'Yeah?' I kept my eyes on my soulmates. 

'You trust Hawkeye, right?'

My eyes flicked to hers, then back to my opponents. 'Yes?'

'If you were in danger, Hawkeye would have stepped in, wouldn't he?'

'What? Get in here!' _Don't panic. She's not going to desert us!_

Rin turned to Hawkeye, and grabbed a handful of popcorn. "Don't mind if I do!"

_Well, shit._

Rogers seemed to take for granted that Rin wouldn't be joining the fray - traitor. I could see him shoot a grin over my shoulder at Tony. _Gods, that makes me want to punch him. Oh, wait!_ I threw the punch, which Rogers dodged at the last moment. _What are they doing? I was wide open there, he could've taken me down...._

In some part of my mind I could hear Rin ask, "So do I even want to know how you found us?"

And Natasha's reply, "This time was not my fault. I gave my word and meant it."

I tried to send the boys back outside, but Loki stepped in to deflect my magic. When Tony attacked me again, I threw him into the on-lookers. Who, me? Spiteful? Never. I didn't give it a second thought until I heard Rin's voice again. "No Hulking out in the living room!"

The moment of silence brought the majority of my attention to my audience. If I was going to have to deal with the Hulk, I was going to need to focus.

Green eyes faded back to brown, as he gazed at her silently. A shy smile tugged at the edges of his mouth. "I'd been wondering where you were hiding." _I know those words... Awww, he's one of Rin's soulmates._

"Oh, I wasn't hiding, you were just blind."

"She's a best-selling auth-" My voice was cut off as the spell enclosed me. _Dammit! What were you thinking!_ I started to work on countering the spell, only to have Thor move through the magic, pulling my hands behind me. Stark clapped a pair of manacles around my wrists, and I knew what it felt like to be human. A hand on my shoulder, and I was done. I was beat, and we all knew it. One mistake, one _stupid_ mistake, and I'd lost.

I sank to my knees, feeling like a part of me was gone. The lack of magic was terrifying, and I could feel my body starting to shake. 

"Shit, she's going into shock!" Rogers' voice was there in the haze. I could feel his arms going around me, but I didn't care. "Get us a blanket." He picked me up, moving me to one of the unoccupied couches. He sat down, pulling me onto his lap, as Rin flew across the room with a blanket. 

"Get your hands off her." She moved to take me from him, but Stark stepped into the way. 

"We can handle this."

Rin's voice dropped, the whisper carrying more weight than shouting ever could have. "You had your chance. You blew it. I am not afraid to kill. Every. Single. Person. In this room. You step away from her, or I will remove you piece by piece."

And then the last voice I expected. "Everyone needs to take a step back." Banner's hand was warm on my cheek. He wrapped me in the blanket, pulling me out of the circle of Rogers' arms. 

A moment later, Rin's hand was stroking over my hair, her face in my line of sight. "Hey, Dragonbreath. We're going to get those cuffs off you, okay?"

I tried to smile at her. "I think I'm... going now..." 

And then there was only blackness.


	14. Pinky Swearing and... Swearing

_Where... where am I?_ At first glance, I would have said I was in a hospital room. But I was pretty sure no hospital had this much equipment in a single wing, much less one room. Which left... 

"Avengers tower..." I breathed. The steady beat of my pulse, slightly lower than an average human's, started to speed up. The magickal silence around me was deafening. I'd never felt so alone. Even when I was by myself, no one in the house, even having no one for miles, I could feel other people. Feel the rhythm of life around me. And that had been stripped away. The cuffs, which they'd left on me, were now disconnected from each other and were instead attached to a hospital bed, leaving me completely vulnerable. _Don't cry... Wait, cry? Bitch, I'm gonna slap them. Who the hell do they think they are, taking everything away from me?_ The smile spread slowly across my face. _Oh, look, my sass survived. Now where are my dumbass soulmates, so I can give them a piece of my mind?_

If I listened, I could hear voices in the next room. They were low, but when I focused, I could make out the conversation.

"- for her own protection." Rogers.

"Oh, and that's why she went into shock? Because she felt safe? Yes, I'm sure." Oh, good, Rin was there.

"Ms. Suero, please. We've taken care of it, and-" Banner, then.

"Which you wouldn't have had to do if you hadn't put her in magick-nullifying cuffs!" Rin was on fire!

"They couldn't know she would react that way." Banner continued.

"They shouldn't have done it, regardless. Is that any way to treat a soulmate? To treat _your_ soulmate?" Always could trust Rin in my corner.

"She started the fight. They were acting in self-defense."

"Was anyone at risk of being injured?"

"Well, they-"

"Were they?" Silence reigned. In all the madness, I don't think anyone realized that I wasn't actually fighting full-out. Rin knew what I could do, but to them... I guess they might have thought I was trying to hurt them.

"The problem remains that she would not calm down enough to let us speak with her, Lady Suero." Thor stepped in.

_Yeah, and the cuffs really make me want to talk._

"Oh, I'm sure the cuffs are going to make her want to talk to you." _... Okay, maybe Rin and I spend too much time together... Regardless, it's time to speak for myself._

"Still cuffed in here, by the way!"

Silence.

Then a veritable stampede to my room. Bruce, Natasha, Clint, Rin, and my Soulmates pushed into my room.

"You're awake!"

"And feisty as ever. You taking these cuffs off? Or are you too scared I'll beat you in round two?"

Thor made to step forward, but Loki stopped him, with one hand on his brother's chest. "She is baiting you, brother." He turned his piercing green eyes on me. "And you, little soulmate, have lost."

 _He's cleverer than I gave him credit for. No matter, I'll be out of here eventually._ I sat up in my bed, propping myself up with my cuffed hands behind me. I tilted my head to the side, looking for all the world as if I didn't give a damn. "You really think that, don't you?" The laugh bubbled up, and I let it out, giving in to my twisted sense of humor. "Sir, I have not yet begun to fight." I could feel my eyes glow, some tiny amount of power left in them. Tony took a step back, moving forward again when he realized what he'd done.

He opened his mouth to say something, when a voice boomed through the tower. "Where the _hell_ are my Avengers?"

The exchanged looks tipped me off. Fury was here, and no one wanted him to see me. Well, I can be an obliging little captive- "IN HERE!" I shouted. Who, me? Rebellious? Never.

Fury stomped into the room moments later, taking in the scene with one sweeping glance. "Stark, please tell me this is some of your kinky shit, and you didn't capture an innocent woman?" He looked utterly done with everything to do with Tony Stark. _Trust me, bro, I know the feeling._

"Nope." I answered for my (for once) silent soulmate. _And it started out as such a bad day. Today's lookin' up!_

Fury just stared at me a moment, then turned to the Avengers, hands on hips. _Ooooh, I think I like him._ "Stark."

Tony, looking unrepentant, gestured to me. "She's our soulmate." 

That got Fury's attention. "What?"

"Yeah, people like to say that around me." I grinned at him.

Tony cut me off with a look. "She saved us on the China mission. Well, her and her friend." He gestured again, and I was mildly surprised to see that Rin had hung around. Through thick and thin, I suppose. She'd spent so long hiding from the government, I'd expected her to duck out.

"With whose help?" Fury looked the two of us up and down. To be fair, we don't look that intimidating.

"Just us, sir."

"Mhmm." He didn't want to believe me. Couldn't blame him. But there was a glint in his eye that said he couldn't find a lie. "So why is she cuffed in my tower?"

"My tower." Tony cut in. "And she wouldn't talk to us."

Fury looked like he was regretting ever having uttered the word "Avenger." "What do you mean, she wouldn't-" He turned to me. " _Why_ wouldn't you talk to them?"

My chin tilted up. "I recognize Fate has made a decision, but given that it's a stupid-ass decision, I've elected to ignore it." 

"I- You..." I could see the corners of his mouth twitching. _You're laughing, but I wasn't joking..._ He turned back to my soulmates. "Regardless, you can't keep her here. Not against her will."

I winked at Loki, and his eyes widened. _Told ya, sweetie. I have not yet begun to fight._

"Then we shall take her to Asgard." _Wait, what?_ I looked at Thor, and then to Fury, who thought a moment, then nodded. 

"You've gotta be kidding me! You can't do this! I'm an American citizen!"

Fury looked at the Avengers in the room, then looked at me. "But I'm not doing this. I didn't see anything. I wasn't even here." He held my gaze. "Unless..."

"Unless what?" It finally hit home that I couldn't escape the predicament I was in. Even Fury wasn't going to help me, and if they took me to Asgard, Rin couldn't free me.

Fury looked to Rin, who'd stayed out of it, knowing I like to fight my own battles. "Does she keep her word?" Rin nodded, slowly, not wanting to give any leverage. He gave her a long look, years of work in the field helping him search her face for any sign of a lie. Finally, he smiled and turned back to me. "Then it's simple. Give your word that you will talk through being soulmates, and that you won't leave until it's been worked through."

I almost laughed out loud. Dreki are bound to their oaths, but only if it’s worded a certain way. Which Rin, of course, knew. I could “give him my word,” without it meaning anything as long as I side-stepped tradition. _I’m surprised he took her word for it… must be his instincts from years in the field… Still, though, Rin knows that I’m not bound by a simple “I promise.” I’m surprised he didn’t pick up on- Oh, he’s looking at me… be cool…_ I gave him my ‘I’m too innocent for words look.’ “If that means I’ll get out of these darn cuffs, sir, I’d agree to it.” I tried not to look happy.

**BANG!**

Banner and Stark jumped at the sound of a foot-tall stack of folders being slammed down onto one of the side tables. 

“Romanov, what the hell are you doing?” _If the vein in cueball’s head gets any bigger, he’ll blow up the whole tower. No explosives needed…_

“Oh, so you _don’t_ want to know what she is?” Natasha’s ‘shocked’ face was on point.

“What the fuck do you mean, what she is?” Fury demanded.

“Never mind, I’ll just go back to minding my own business.” She started gathering the stack of folders into her arms again.

“Romanov, get to the goddamn point.”

“She’s not bound to her word, unless it’s a Dreki Oath.”

“NAT!” I mean, we shared ice cream together. She was breaking the ice-cream-bro-code!

“What? What is a Dreki? Nevermind, we'll talk about that later. What do you mean?”

“She’s not human. If she gives the Oath, she’ll die before she breaks it. But it’s got particular… Oh, I’m probably boring you.”

“Romanov.” I could swear I could see her lips twitching in time with the pulse in Fury’s forehead. I, on the other hand, was not amused. Rin didn’t seem to be either, when I looked over to her.

“Make her give the Oath, or she won’t stay. Dreki equivalent of crossing her fingers.” 

“And she could leave, even with all of her soulmates here to stop her?”

For the first time in the conversation, Nat smiled. And it was terrifying. “She was holding her own earlier, until she got distracted.”

Fury looked mildly impressed, but; “Holding her own isn’t-”

“She was trying not to hurt them.”

Fury’s eyes were on me again, and this time he was analyzing in a whole different way. Before, I had been a problem. A media nightmare. Now? Now I was a tool to be utilized, and if the fact that I could take on four of the Avengers was any indication, I was one hell of a weapon. 

“What is all this?” Tony gestured to the Leaning Tower of Manila Folders.

“Information on Dreki history and culture. I like to know who - and what - I’m dealing with.” She popped her hip up onto the edge of the side table, casual as you please.

“How- How long have you had this?”

“Oh, a while.”

“And you never thought to SHOW US?” Steve’s hand was on Tony’s shoulder, a gentle reminder to keep some level of control.

“You never asked.” She smiled again, enjoying Tony’s struggle to keep from exploding. She pulled out a paper from one of the folders, and handed it to Fury.

“I found this in an old Russian manuscript… No one had bothered to translate it, but it says, explicitly, what she needs to say for it to be binding. It’s also-” She pulled out a few more papers. “corroborated in other texts as well.” 

“French… Romanian… Dutch… Arabic… Latin?” He looked at me, only halfway through the pages she’d handed him. “How far back do you go?” 

I shrugged. “Far enough. Look-” 

“Seems to me this is simple enough. You give your _Oath_ that you’ll stay and work things through, and we all can walk away from this.”

My jaw dropped. "That's ridiculous!"

"Not as ridiculous as spending the next couple years in Asgard." _I feel sick..._ "Well?"

"I... I, um..." I looked at Rin, knowing that she couldn't communicate with me telepathically thanks to my cuffs. 

She shrugged, and raised her eyebrows, as if to say 'You gotta talk to them sometime.' The slow smile added 'And he never said you couldn't kick their asses while you do it.' 

_Well...._ "Fine. Okay. As long as they take the cuffs _off_." _I better not regret this..._


	15. Distracting the Dreki

Two hours later, I had my own suite of rooms. Well, technically, Rin and I had our own suite of rooms. I'd suggested that she could still leave, and she'd replied with "frankly I'm a bit insulted you'd think I'd leave." So... that was out. With my Oath firmly in place, I couldn't leave here, and I had thought maybe she should save herself from all this madness, but hey... I appreciated her sticking around. She'd awkwardly asked if I was "okay" after the whole debacle, and had to take a cab downtown to grab some of our things. In the hubbub, no one had thought out how we were going to live at the Tower. I mean, I didn't even have a clean pair of underwear, and I was _not_ having that conversation with the boys. 

Steve had tried hovering like a mother sending her kid off for the first day of daycare, asking if we needed anything, what he could do, but that had come to an end shortly after the fireball had gone whizzing past his head. What? I was testing if there was any residual effect from the cuffs... Mostly.

Thor had pulled Steve away in the wake of the fireball (super soldiers seem to have less of a survival instinct) to do some weapons training.

Tony was still having a conniption over Nat's 'betrayal' of the boys. As was I, until I realized the freezer was stocked with my favorite ice cream, courtesy of the only spider I will ever tolerate in my living space, with a note saying "I would've lost my job for withholding information. And you've gotta talk to them eventually. " I was raised to see my role, my "job" if you will, as my reason for existing. And with the feelings and thoughts Nat projected... I'm pretty sure her past led her to see her job the same way. It's hard to see yourself in someone else and hate them for making the decisions you may have made in their shoes.

Besides which, I'd realized that Nat's first words to Rin were surprisingly familiar... and was waiting for the moment it hit Rin, who had missed it in her "protective-friend" mode.

As for the Nordic Goth- oops, I mean "God" - well, I didn't know where he'd gotten to. He hadn't stayed around after to gloat, which surprised me. _He seemed like the type to lord a victory over you. To be fair, we haven't actually had a conversation, but- Holy crap... I'm starting to sound like Hawkeye..._

"So... I guess this is my room..." I stepped into my new, sparse bedroom, not bothering to turn on the light. I assumed it'd been meant for visiting employees, or maybe people that were at risk and needed to be protected.... Either way, we were in the middle of the Avenger's housing, and I'd bet that Tony wasn't quite buying the power of the Oath. On the bright side, I was close enough to pop over to Hawky-poo's any time I felt like having a movie night. Downside: everything else. The last light of the sunset disappeared before my eyes, leaving me only the glow of the city. "One hell of a view... Hey, I can see my house from here. Ha-ha." _Rin needs to be here to appreciate my sarcasm._ "They couldn't have picked a better cage..."

"Oh, they could have." came from behind me. The fireball I threw fizzled out in seconds inside a green orb. Loki just smiled at me, unruffled.

"What the hell do you want, Skrillex-wannabe?" _I'm not in the mood for this..._

He ignored my question, making his way to stare out the window beside me. "They could have taken you to Asgard, you know."

"I swear to the gods..."

"Oh?" Suddenly his face was inches from mine, his hand holding my chin. "Pray tell, mortal, what _exactly_ do you swear to me?"

 _You wanna play? Fine. Let's play._ One second he was staring down into my face, the next second he was slamming into the wall on the other side of the room, his eyes wide in shock. "What, did you forget I can kick your ass five ways to THOR'S-DAY?" I grinned at my joke, then ran out into the main living area, slamming the door behind me. _Might as well get some space to work with._

A green light blew the door open, and Loki stepped through, his eyes glowing emerald green as a smile played across his lips. I waited patiently, mapping out the surprisingly spacious living area we'd been assigned.

"Come on, Trickster, let's see what you've got." I could feel my eyes glowing in response to the challenge.

Somewhere in the back of my mind I could hear alarms on other floors, and JARVIS' voice tattling on Loki and I. _Oh, come on. Can't we have a bit of fun?_

Loki started throwing magick at me, carefully at first, then with more push behind it as he saw I could take it. I started analyzing his magick fighting style as I engaged in return.

It didn't take long to figure out Loki's weakness, especially now that I could focus on him; he used full-on spells. Back when I had first trained in magick, I had been taught the old spells, and new modifications, but it was all leading to the point where the use of magick was intention-based. The instant I needed something, it was there. No delay. Sometimes it felt as if what I needed appeared before I knew I needed it. So while Old Man Trickster was thinking up spells and counterspells, all I had to do was look for openings. 

An errant fireball almost hit Loki in the face while he prepared his next spell, though he managed to snuff it out at the last second. _That was close.... Wait, why do I care? ...Sportsmanship? I'mma go with sportsmanship..._

As I deflected another spell, I could feel the other Avengers making their way into the elevator, so I reached out with my mind and flipped the switches in the breaker. So I'm a little old school... I don't understand these newfangled "JARVIS-es." Sue me.

In the immediately ensuing darkness, all I could see were Loki's eyes, fixed on me, glowing in the dark. Our eyes quickly adjusting in the night lights of the city. Everything was still, calm. Loki was paused in his spell-casting, and it seemed like even JARVIS was holding his breath. There, sitting in the darkness, we locked eyes, and I slowly gave Loki a saucy wink. In that moment, everything changed. Could one of us have won and had done with it? Of course. But what would be the fun in that? 

As the bubble of stillness broke, it became a game of stealth. I dove into what deep darkness I could find, taking on the shape of a black dragon the size of a cat. I crawled through the blackness, seeing a flash of teeth and the edge of Loki's cape disappearing into shadow as he joined the game.

 _This is fun... I should do this more often..._

I crept past one of the sofas, ducked under an end table... then waited for the almost imperceptible change in shadow as Loki passed silently by, before wiggling back out and sneaking along to a new hiding place. 

A few minutes of strategic moves later, I heard the slight whirrs of cameras coming online, as JARVIS presumably used emergency power to show Stark and the others our epic game of hide and go seek. 

I backed into a new cranny, waiting out Loki's sweep again before edging back out into the- "EEP!"

And I was airborne, my wings pinned against my body by one hand, the other passing around my stomach. A green flame appeared out of nowhere, showing not one, not two, but five Lokis standing there, looking at me, moments before they converged into the one holding me.

 _Oh, now that's not fair!_ I tried to wriggle free, to no avail. _Spoil-sport._

I flicked my tongue at him, and he - overdramatic sort that he is - raised an eyebrow at me. The drama king (slash demigod). 

_Oh! IDEA!_ The next time I opened my mouth, it was not to flick my tongue at him. Instead, a bright burst of flame lit the dark room.

I expected him to drop me. I mean, who wouldn't? Well, it turns out Loki wouldn't. Sometimes I forget he's the god of fire...

He continued to hold me a moment, before cocking his head to one side, with a look that clearly said, "Are you quite done?"

 _Oh, bite my fabulous (and currently scaly) butt._ It seemed like he read my thoughts in my expression, despite my current form... His lips quirked up into a smirk for a moment, which disappeared as he gazed at me quizzically. He seemed to come to some sort of decision as he strode across the room, taking a seat on the surprisingly plush black couch I'd decided to buy for my own apartment, whenever I got out of this whole Avengers mess. Once seated, his eyes started scanning me in an almost analytical way, renewing the desire to wriggle out of his grasp. He held tight, though, and I gave over to his analysis. What harm? Or, more precisely; what choice?

A few minutes later, he set me on his lap, one hand on the small of my back, pinning my wings down, the other free. I started tensing up, dreading whatever spell he might have cooked up. I might be his soulmate, but that didn't mean he cared for me. And that certainly didn't mean he didn't want revenge for the sassing I'd given him earlier. Loki didn't exactly have the best track record when it came to holding grudges. I waited for the spell, and waited... and then-

Fingers trailed between my wings, the nails scratching along my spine.... _Scritches... Oh, gods, scritches... No, I am a strong, independent Dreki, who don't need no soulma-_ his fingers hit the sweet spot on my spine, and the shudder spread across my body like ripples on a pond. I lay across his lap like a limp noodle, his fingers working the spot on my spine, with all dignity out the window. Within minutes, both of his hands were working on scritches, as I purred on his lap, all thought of escaping gone in the face of amazing scritches. His hands traveled easily from place to place, reading the movements that told him what part needed scritches next. The minutes blended together as I floated in the sensation, my mind blank.

"Well, fuck," brought me back to myself, to find Nat and Rin standing over me.


	16. Phones and Phun

Loki's hands still wandered, gently massaging but not scratching, presumably to allow some form of cognitive thought to happen in my head. It took me a moment to realize that I was back in human form, curled on the couch, my upper body splayed across the demigod's lap. I started to sit up, but a quick knead of a stiff point by a certain raven-haired person brought me back to his lap. _I really need to start sitting with better posture.... Or I could talk him into more back massages... Uh, yeah, I'll take Option B, thanks._

"It's not my fau-" My own purring interrupted my sentence. _Oooooh, I didn't even know I'd had a knot there!_ "We were just... talking?"

"Oh? Is that what they're calling it now?" Rin seemed... skeptical, to say the least. _I'm not sure what I expected to happen there... Even I wouldn't fall for that._

"Better 'conversation' than I've ever had." Stark was leaning against the doorframe of the stairway, along with the other (grinning) Avengers, including Bruce, Natasha, and Clint... I'd forgotten that there were stairs. And I wasn't sure when exactly they'd gotten there. I wasn't even sure how long I'd been on Loki's lap.

Another effort to sit up was thwarted by Loki's all-knowing hands. _Damn him... But he'd better not stop._

The lights came back on, somebody finally having flipped the breakers back. Everyone winced in the sudden light.

“Jarvis, dim that down.” Tony snapped. The lights immediately fell to a tolerable level.

Rogers made his way over to the edge of the couch by my feet, and tentatively sat down. I watched him go, Loki's hands convincing me I shouldn't care. When my feet were lifted onto the Star-Spangled Dorito's lap, I couldn't find it in me to protest.

Rin looked between Loki, Rogers, and me. "And it looks like you've got this under control... Or they do." 'If you need me, I'll be right in the other room, okay?' whispered through my mind. 

'Mmmmmkay,' I thought back. Rogers' hands had started working the soles of my feet, and it was hard to really care one way or the other. 

Quiet footsteps told me that the others had left, though one set padded closer. A lazy lift of one eyelid was all I managed, but the sight of Thor standing fretfully with a brush and comb in one hand was enough to make me smile.

"Come on, L'Oreal, do your worst." I grumbled half-heartedly. It's hard to work up a good 'mad' when you're in the middle of a good massage.

Loki grabbed a cushion from nearby, offering to put it under my head, which I gladly accepted as Thor took my hair out of its braid, combing carefully through it.

The scent of a fresh cup of tea wafted to my nose, as Stark appeared next to Thor. "Drink?" I could tell by the smell that it was fixed just the way I liked it… he must have asked Hawky-poo or Nat for advice.

It was absolutely surreal. Here were the four men that I'd been (understandably) mad at for _years,_ being ridiculously helpful and sweet... And I was letting them. I could feel Rin in the other room, busying herself and staying in the other room, while undoubtedly watching everything by hacking JARVIS' cameras to make sure I was alright. Every so often, I’d catch a stray thought from her, threatening bodily harm if they hurt me. Good to have a friend. 

"You realize that this isn't going to fix anything, right? I'm not going to just roll over and be your perfect little soulmate." I raised an eyebrow at Stark. "In fact, I'm still going to kick your asses. One. By. One."

Stark just smiled. "Oh, I know... we just figured we'd remind you how good it could be to have soulmates... So there'd be a bit of our asses left when you do forgive us."

"I never said I'd forgive you."

Rogers joined in with "But how can you not, when having soulmates feels so-" he dug into the arch of my foot with his thumbs, "good?"

“Watch me.” I grumbled, half-heartedly… The change in tactics was, well, unexpected. But I couldn’t complain… I quite enjoyed having four beautiful men working hard to relax me… even if they were the same four men that got me all mad and tensed up in the first place.

The combination of the brush gliding along my scalp, the too-knowledgeable hands down my spine, and the thumbs working the tension out of my feet was almost irresistible… almost. My purring revved up again, causing Thor and Rogers to pause a moment. These three were- wait, three? I tensed, fighting the urge to immediately lift my head and find Stark, my own paranoia keeping me from forgetting everything and giving over.

“What’s wrong, little dragon?” Loki asked, his palm smoothing along my back.

“Where’s Stark?”

“Right here.” Came from the stairway. Thor paused his ministrations so that I could look up, as Stark held up a smartphone of his own design. “I realized you don’t have a cell phone.” 

“Yes I do.” I gestured to my phone on the coffee table.

“This? THIS phone? Luna, this is a relic from an ancient civilization.”

“It’s only about ten years old, Stark. Stop being such a drama queen.”

“Luna. It’s a _flip phone_. It flips. It’s not even a smart flip phone.”

“… Stark, I will hit you.”

“Why don’t you have a smartphone? You could afford it.”

“I don’t usually use my phone. I generally just think at Rin. Besides, I’m not in contact with many other people on a day-to-day basis, so there was no point, and-” 

“Wait, you _think_ at Miss Suero?” Rogers piped up.

“… Yes?” 

“How?”

“Um… Telepathy?”

They all looked at me a moment, then; “Miss Draconis…” Rogers began. “Telepathy isn’t real.”

 _Oh, now you’ve done it. You’ve flipped the sass switch._ “Thanks, I’ll bear that in mind, next time I’m having a conversation with two gods of Nordic mythology, a supersoldier, and a-” I looked at Tony. “Um… guy with a super suit.” 

“I prefer ‘billionaire playboy philanthropist.’”

“Sure, Tony. Now stop looking at my phone as if it’s a crime against humanity.”

He mumbled something under his breath that sounded suspiciously like “it _is_ a crime against humanity.”

Loki’s hands started working more quickly on my back, as he growled “Stark,” low and slow at the offending engineer.

“Fine.” Stark had the good mind to look repentant. “I just wanted you to have a proper phone…” And, damn him, he looked like a sad little puppy that had been scolded. I think the massage had softened me up, because I felt bad for him.

I sighed. “Fine. You can update my phone.” Stark immediately brightened up. “But don’t let any of my information get lost in the switch!”

As he scurried off, I laid back down on my pillow, content to let Thor resume his playing with my hair. He started working on many small braids, connecting them to each other so that they looped in and out and around on the back of my head. I would be willing to bet he had done someone’s hairstyle more than once back in Asgard, as he knew how to manipulate the hair, not once pulling it or bringing the brush through too harshly. And like the hairstyles ornatricēs made in ancient Rome, it would survive the night, maybe even more than one, if I could keep from running my hands through it.

By the time Thor was done with my elaborate hairstyle, there wasn’t one tense muscle left in my body. Steve’s hands had roamed up my calves (staying respectfully below the knee), and Loki had used pressure points in the small of my back to release the muscles down through my thighs. Not only were there no tense muscles left, I wasn’t entirely sure that I _had_ muscles any more. 

Loki motioned with one hand, and Thor picked me up, carried me carefully back to my own room, waited for Loki to move the blankets out of the way, and then set me gently on the bed. Stark placed my (presumably reheated) tea on the nightstand, along with my new phone. Steve hovered in the doorway.

I looked at the four of them, awkwardly. “So…” I focused on fiddling with the edge of one of the blankets, not sure where to go from there. 

“We’ll see you tomorrow.” I looked up to find Stark herding the rest of the boys from my room.

“What?”

“Tomorrow. You know, the day after tonight? Sleep well.” A wink, and he was gone, shutting the door behind him.

A knock sounded moments later; Rin, coming to check on me. “Come in, Bitch, you know you can.”

She made her way over to the bed, a cup of tea in hand, then sat on the other side of the bed, and just looked at me.

I finally broke the silence. “What?”

“You okay?”

“Of course.”

“Did you forgive them?”

“Oh, no. No, I’m going to kick their butts. I might have forgiven them for the soulmate marks… but after the magick-nullifying cuffs? Hell, no. I just have to decide who to take on first.”

She sipped her tea, watching me over the rim of her cup. “Let me know if I have to have a talk with them.”

“A talk?”

“I’d offer to kick their butts for you, but I trust you can handle it. And remember: I’m always open to helping you hide a body.” Ah, friendship. 

“So why a talk?”

“Because I know how you hold grudges… and if they want to get on your good side sometime in the next millennium, they might need some pointers.” She smirked at me. “Once they’ve earned it, of course.”

_Oh, yeah. They’re gonna earn it, alright._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, fftk, I don't know who she's going to fight first, so I'm gonna give you options: Thor, Steve Rogers, or Tony Stark? Who do YOU want her to fight? I'll be checking the answers on Monday at the earliest, so you have time to decide!
> 
> Update as of 9/11: I'm tallying the votes! Thank you to everyone who voted, it was a really close run (as you may have noticed), so I'll try to put up two chapters in close succession to make everybody happy (there may not be references to the previous fight, so it may end up being possible to read them out of order... we shall see. If so, you can read your vote first ^_^ )


	17. The Desolation of Steve

It could have been the perfect morning. But some people just don't know how to properly appreciate mornings. Take Steve Rogers, for example. The Man of the Frosty Nether Regions does NOT know how to appreciate a good morning. Exhibit A: he's out of bed. OUT of bed. Who _does_ that? Exhibit B: he wants to _do_ things. Not proper morning things, like lazing about, watching tv, drinking a soothing beverage, and generally doing your best impersonation of a houseplant. No, he wants to exercise. Scandalous, I know. Exhibit C: he's so far gone that he thinks others might wish to partake in his heathen ways, and wakes them up to invite them along. Before the sun is up. Before the buttcrack of dawn, people. 

So there I was, prepared for the perfect morning, blissfully ignorant of the coming dawn, when a hand brushed my spaztastic hair out of my face, then gently shook my shoulder. I cracked my eyes open, finding Rogers standing over my bed, shining brighter than the freaking midday sun. I turned sleep-heavy eyes to the clock on the bedside table. "... Rogers, it'd better be 6:00 PM, or there will be red-white-and-blue blood splattered all over this room."

My lack of joy at seeing him didn't seem to dim his enthusiasm at all. Unfortunately. "Oh, come on, Miss Draconis. It's a glorious morning-"

"It might be, if it actually WERE morning..." I grumbled.

"And it'd be a shame to waste a minute of it," he steamrolled through. "I bought you some running clothes, as Miss Suero didn't seem to have brought you any." My eyes widened, then flitted to the closet, which remained closed.

"Did- did you go through my clothes?"

"No!" He looked positively offended that I would ask. "I woke her up to ask her, and I invited her along... apparently she's not a big fan of running."

 _Oh, to be a fly on the wall for that... On second thought, I'd rather have slept in..._ "You don't say."

"I'll meet you outside." And with that, he was gone.

"But-" Too late, he was out of earshot. 

A quiet 'Give me a couple hours, and I'll come help you kill him.' came from the next room.

'Aw, but I'm up _now._ ' I playfully whined back. I could hear the mental version of a snort come down the line, then I felt Rin settle back in to try to get some chance of a few more minutes of sleep... though the insomnia made it unlikely.

I ignored the outfit set out on my bed, instead opting for my black cargo pants and a tie-dye camisole. I threw my hair up into a low ponytail, magicked up some makeup, and grabbed some sexy heels. _I'll kick your ass, pretty boy, and I'll do it with my heels **on.**_

I strutted my stuff into the elevator, joined by Nat, Clint, and Sam. They all gave me the once-over. Nat said nothing, but had an evil little grin, Clint asked where I'd gotten the shoes from, because his wife's birthday was coming up... Sam said something that sounded an awful lot like "my turn to say 'on your left'" under his breath. I decided to be the bigger dragon and let it go.

When we stepped out of the building, Rogers and Barnes were stretching and warming up... until they saw me. "Miss Draconis, I set out clothes for you-" Rogers began. 

"Rogers, if I'm gonna be up at this ungodly hour of the morning, I gotta be clear; first off, I can wear whatever I want. Period. End of story. Second, don't call me 'Miss Draconis,' call me Luna. You sound like such a stooge. And third... I hope everybody sees this, because I will _not_ be up at this hour of the morning again." I nodded to Dr. Banner, who was practicing some early-morning Tai Chi and watching through his unfairly-long eyelashes. He smiled back, but didn't break form. 

The elevator dinged from inside the building, and we were joined moments later by Loki and Thor, both of whom took in my choice of outfit with rather perplexed looks on their faces, but were wise enough to keep their mouths shut, but for some carefully chosen words. "You look as lovely as the coming dawn, Miss Luna." Thor said.

"You look as dangerous as a moonless night." Loki purred. 

_Oooh, I like them... I'm talking to them before dawn and have no desire to kill them. A rare trait!_

I opened my mind to Loki, and explained my plan briefly. He grinned, and agreed to join our little race, provided his brother joined as well. I could tell that Thor suspected something was afoot, but couldn't tell what it was.

We lined up; Sam, Bucky, Rogers, Loki, Thor, and I, with Natasha settling against a tree, Clint roosting (with some food he'd procured from gods-only-know where) above, and Bruce continuing his morning regimen.

"10 laps around? You can drop out if you get tired." Steve gave me an almost contrite look, realizing that 13 miles was not everyone's cup of tea.

I glared at him, and yelled at the top of my lungs; "On your mark, get set, GO!" The boys took off, with Loki and I hanging back. We shared a grin and a wink, before putting our plan in motion.

Rogers, Bucky, and Thor were easily outpacing Sam, who was grumbling, but seemed rather happy to not be in last place... for once.

It struck Rogers and Thor that they should probably not be leaving their soulmate in the dust moments before a black-and-tie-dye blur sped past them, the wind from my wings almost knocking them over. A green-and-black blur hovered a respectful (and safe, due to my wingspan) distance behind, keeping pace. 

"On your left" was carried back to them on the wind. I glanced back to enjoy the chaos. Steve looked befuddled, Thor awed, and Bucky and Sam were literally unable to breathe because they were laughing too hard. I lapped the boys a few more times, then took some time out to do Tai Chi with Banner, Loki choosing to join in as well, lips twitching as the others labored around the pool.

We continued to lap them, having snide comments every so often, such as "you can drop out if you get tired," and "you're getting slow in your old age." We would have finished in less than half the time that it usually took Rogers to run the circuit, were it not for our sassy stops for Tai Chi and conversation. Banner was looking more gleeful with each visit.

When everyone had crossed the finish line, I stepped away from my conversation with Banner, who had finished his morning routine, to give Rogers and Thor a pat on the back. "Don't worry... you'll get better with practice. And Rogers? " I gave him a stern look. "Next time you wake me up before dawn, I will make sure you don't live to see that 'glorious morning.'" I turned and walked away from the slightly out-of-breath Rogers, back to the Tower, a sassy sway in my hips. "And if you're not too worn out, Old Glory, I need an old rag to wipe the floor with," was called out over my shoulder, and I made out some grumbling about "disrespecting the flag" before the Tower door slid shut behind me. _Hey, it's not my fault his uniform is all star-spangley._

* * *

A repentant-looking Rogers showed up to the sparring rooms at a more reasonable hour (a.k.a. after noon) for some... 'sparring?' The other Avengers didn't show up, probably knowing that his ego was bruised enough from this morning without adding insult to injury.

'Sparring' might not be the right term for it.... For the first ten minutes, Rogers refused to take a swing at me with any force behind it, much less follow-through. Which, of course, pissed me off like none other.

"I'm sorry, Cap, I was under the impression that you actually wanted me here... but clearly you don't think much of me if you're not willing to train with me as an equal." I goaded.

As expected, he prickled with righteous indignation. Gotta love it when people are predictable; makes it so easy to push their buttons. "I was taught you shouldn't hit a lady."

I threw him across the room. _Hmm... that might be one of my buttons. Oopsy._ I tried to play it off. "Have you _met_ me? Rogers, I'm the farthest thing from a lady." I threw a punch, and was surprised to feel myself pulled into a martial-arts technique. As far as I had known, Rogers was more of a brawl-type fighter, with a more boxing-based style than anything. _He must be training with Stark in his free time._ was all I had the time to think before I was pinned beneath 240 pounds of patriotic deliciousness, a knee coming up to rest against certain 'intimate parts' of my anatomy. I froze. This- This was- Well, I wasn't sure what this was, but it sure as hell felt like fighting dirty, in a whole new sense of the word.

"Hmm..." Rogers rumbled from above me, moving his knee ever so slightly. I'd deny it to the end of time, but there was definitely a whimper after that slight movement, and it wasn't his. "It sure does _feel_ like you're a lady." 

I threw some extra energy into pushing him off, using mainly muscle strength, but needing a little extra help because of the awkward angle (and admittedly a bit of weakness in lower regions of my anatomy).

From there, we fought mostly in earnest, though Steve was slipping in unnecessary - and oddly, not unwanted - touches at every opportunity. We fought for the better part of two hours, and by the end of it, it felt like every nerve in my body was begging for a different sort of one-on-one time with Steve Rogers. It was a decidedly unique sensation; as a demisexual woman, I didn't ever feel sexual attraction until there was an emotional connection (of a romantic sort, in my case). With my lifestyle, the only one who'd gotten close enough over the years for me to be emotionally connected to was Rin, but we were completely platonic. Loki had started wedging his way under my skin the night before, and had apparently lowered my emotional shields a bit, as well. With the unexpected vulnerability in Steve's face at the beginning of the fight, something had changed... I was starting to see why people were so into this whole "sex" thing. A dangerous and scary new prospect. 

I looked at Steve's open face. He was obviously enjoying both sides of our 'sparring,' again using the term loosely. And there was still that underlying vulnerability, which, combined with the openness, struck a chord in me.

Everything came crashing down at once. My emotions, the almost begrudgingly trusting look on Cap's face (most likely due to his experience losing Barnes when he was younger), and the events that had unraveled since our first run-in with the Avengers... it all hit me at once. I'd prepared for battle, not... whatever you'd call all this.

Thanks to the panic attack, breathing was now a lot harder than it used to be. I dropped to my knees, focusing on trying to find some semblance of breath. Steve was at my side in a flash, a hand on my shoulder. Past the ringing in my ears, I could make out some of his words; he was saying something about looking at him, and holding on. I couldn't get the air to tell him that I couldn't, that I was busy. He took my hand in his, and pressed it to his chest, over his heart. I faintly heard "count the beats," and it took a moment to figure out what he meant.

 _One... two... three... four..._ The world was going dark, fading around the edges of my vision. _Eleven... twelve..._ I was down to just the image of my hand pressed to him, one of his hands wrapped around my wrist, holding it there. _Fifteen... sixteen..._

Breath.

The buzzing in my ears started to quiet, and my vision started filling out again. It finally occurred to me that his heartbeat sounded... normal. Not hurried, or panicked. As normalcy returned, I met his blue eyes, which looked surprisingly... scared.

"You doin' all right there, Yankee Doodle?" I tried to joke, though it came out rather choked.

He gasped for air, as if he was the one who'd been having trouble breathing. "I- I thought I was losing you for a second, there."

I tried to read the look in his eyes, avoiding reading his mind, as it seemed oddly intrusive. "Your heartbeat was steady, though. A beat per second? That's slow, in fact."

His hand hadn't moved from my wrist, and I could feel it slowing down further. "Actually, Bucky and I have very slow heart rates... 28 beats per minute, when we're relaxed."

My eyes widened. "Oh. I- I didn't know humans' hearts went so slow." _And I'd thought mine was slow at 60._

A new voice cut in. "Usually they don't, but some peoples' can. They say when the serum changed the super soldiers, it made them more efficient. Which means a slower heart rate." Banner stood just behind Steve.

I realized that Nat, Clint, Stark, Loki, Thor, and Rin were standing over us with him, watching Steve and I carefully.

I tried to pull my hand away, and Steve resisted. I glared at him, and he relented. As soon as he did, I regretted it. I missed that solid beat against my palm. My hand meandered its' way back to its' resting place, and Steve looked inordinately pleased.

"We've seen Olympic athletes get down to the super soldiers' resting heart rates, for example, but they have to work at it." Banner continued, not missing one iota of what was happening.

I cleared my throat, fighting the blush that was creeping up my neck. "I- I'd better go shower." I pulled away from Steve again, and once more missed the sensation. "I look like an escapee from a lunatic asylum."

"I think you look fantastic." Steve offered. With that, heat flared across my cheekbones, and when his thumb traced after, reminding all those little nerves how happy they could be, I lost all coherent thought.

"I- The- Um- You see- Well..." I cleared my throat. "The- The thing- Um.... Shower!" And with that, I fled the room.

 _Not quite the ass-kicking I had in mind, but somehow... this was better._ I blushed harder as I jabbed at the elevator button.


	18. Stark Raving Mad

Dinner with the Avengers was going to be the best thing ever. I got the feeling that they were all here mainly because they wanted to watch the sass that Rin and I had the tendency to throw around... But hey, an audience just gave us more targets. So here we were, one big, super-dysfunctional super-powered family, gathered around a sort of "family dinner." Thor had saved me a seat, judging by the way that he tapped the empty chair next to him. Makes a girl wonder what he had to do to win that seat... Coin toss? Pleading? Brute force? The chair on my other side was Rin's, with a sheepish Bruce Banner on her other side. I'd barely sat down when Thor started piling food on my plate.

"What... what do you think you're doing?" I resisted the urge to dump the food onto his head and start over. I hadn't even gotten a look at what was available, much less decide what I wanted... And I'm not a fan of high-handed tactics.

"You are a warrior, little soulmate. You must eat like one."

I could feel my eyes start to glow.

"Yeah, she's... She's quite the warrior..." Rin stepped in, grabbing my plate and handing it off to a bewildered Steve. She gave him a look that shouted 'take this, and give me your plate before this whole place goes nuclear,' and he handed his thus-far empty plate back to her.

She handed me the new plate before taking her seat. Thor looked bewildered, then reached to put a roll on my plate. Loki grabbed it out of Thor's hand as he walked in, taking a bite before he set it on his own plate. "I'm quite sure the lady can fill her own plate, Thor." Rin and I caught the thought 'If anyone's going to end this world, it'll be me' as he did so, and had to force a straight face.

"I've seen mortal women eat leaves for a meal, brother. _Leaves._ That will not give you strength in battle."

 _Alright, I've had enough._ "For fuck's sake, Thor, a salad isn't going to kill you. And for the record? I'm not going into battle. I'm stuck here, remember?"

"But you're going to be "battling" us, remember?" Stark was just loving this.

"Oh, no, Bobba Fett wannabe. That's pure pleasure." I started picking out my meal. Salad first, of course.

"Lady Lu-"

"Can it, Goldilocks. I'm not above going on a juice cleanse just to piss you off."

Thor looked like he was going to continue arguing, but just then Stark grabbed him by the back of his chair and dragged him off to have a discussion - presumably about why he shouldn't be antagonizing the grumpy little soulmate who could literally spit fire.

Natasha passed me the dressing, the table uncomfortably quiet.

"So... Any other awkward conversations we should have?" Hawkeye joked.

"Oh, I'm _so_ glad you brought that up, Hawky-poo." The nickname was so syrupy sweet, I could feel it giving me cavities. "Why don't we talk about what a friend should do when they know another friend's soulmates are planning D-day; Apartment Edition?"

Rin snorted behind me.

"You should read your texts." Hawkeye mumbled.

"Excuse you?" 

Rin handed me a glass of water; our little in-joke-slash-tip-off when I started smoking (literally, usually). I quickly took a sip, taking the opportunity to cool down a little.

"What are you talking about, Barton?" Tony rejoined the table, bashful god in tow.

"Luna and I are friends-" he glared at me, before continuing on, "so I did give her a heads up."

"No you didn't!" My eyes were no longer human, and I no longer cared. Steve, Bucky, Thor, Falcon, and Banner were keeping their heads down and staying out of it. Loki, Natasha, Tony, and Rin were scrutinizing our every move, ready to dive in if an all-out fight started. I'd been stewing ever since the boys showed up on my doorstep, and I needed to get it all on the table.

"Look at the text." He was staying surprisingly calm, especially considering a dragon was glaring down at him. I pulled out my new smartphone, found the messages (may have grumbled a bit about the inconvenience), and scrolled down.

"THIS is the last thing you sent me." I showed him the text: 'So i was Thinking And maybe we could have anotheR movie day, you Know It's So muCh fun tO spend tiMe wIth someoNe outside the avenGers. ANyway, Do you tHink you'll bE home? I'd Sometime today would Probably work best. IS that Sounding okEy, Dragon?'

He started pointing to the letters, the mistakes. "Do you see?" _Oh, crap, I think I do._

"See what?" Tony cut in.

"It spells out 'Stark is coming, and he's pissed.'" Hawkeye sat back down, and continued eating his soup.

"You TOLD her?"

"For all the good it did her. And me." He raised an eyebrow at me.

"FINE. Fine, I was wrong, y'all are wonderful, what the fuck do you want from me?" Rin was bristling beside me, her Dom side making her protective. She could tell I was honest-to-gods hurting. We'd had the conversation about letting me fight my own battles, though, so she was staying out of it.

Everything went quiet.

Suddenly everyone was fascinated with their food, leaving me glaring at Stark, and Rin ready to bust some heads.

Who was brave enough to break that silence? Nat, of course. Who else? "It's hard, learning to live with your soulmates, but-"

"You don't seem to be having too hard a time with Rin." 

The table erupted in "WHAT"s, Rin's included... 

_Oops..._ "I HATE it when you say that. I think I'd be better off eating in my room. Dessert, Rin?"

"Way ahead of you." A German Chocolate cake floated behind her, an in-joke we'd been laughing about earlier.

"Luna, please." Stark ran his hand through his hair. "I just- Look-"

"Nope. Bye." I went for the door, plate in hand, Rin guarding my flank.

"We're not done here- Luna!"

"You're right, Stark, we're not. You and me? We've got plenty to work through. I'll take you on tomorrow."

As the elevator doors closed, we could see Steve and Loki each grabbing one of Stark's shoulders, drawing him back toward the table.

"So..." Rin started. "What's all this about Black Widow being my soulmate?"

"Oh, did we have a life-altering realization? Maybe we should talk about that..." I winked at her.

* * *

"Stark's got experience in Martial Arts, and you bet he's been keeping them up with the Avenger's..." I licked my fork. _Damn, I love cake... And there is more cake... And I'm working out. Screw it, I'm having more._ I floated another piece onto my plate.

"He still won't be a match for you."

"Yeah, but I don't think that beating him will bruise his ego... at all. And that's kinda the point... Do you think he's got some embarrassing childhood secret that we could play off of?"

"Let's see...."

Rin pulled out one of her tablets - she was refusing to use Stark tech, mainly to tick Stark off - and started digging.

I continued digging into the cake. It's a hard job, but someone's gotta do it, and I'm willing to fall on that sword.... Or fork, as the case may be.

Rin's laughed. "Hey, Luna... You're not gonna believe this."

"What? What did you find?" She turned the tablet to face me, and all I could do was grin. "Oh... Oh, I can work with that."


	19. Stark Naked

When serving up a plate of cold-hearted ass-whooping, one must dress for the occasion. At least, that’s always been my belief. I pulled on the crop top and was ready to go; crop top over a sports bra, and some baggy sweatpants? Perfect.

I waited for Rin, and then the two of us marched to the elevator, grinning like idiots.

Stark, as anticipated, was stretching out in his meticulously white gi, the others laying bets not-so-discretely at the edges of the mats. 

“You’re wearing that?” I stood over him, enjoying the look of surprise on his face.

He stood warily, eyes taking in my whole ensemble. “This… is what we wear in the dojo… what are you wearing?”

“What does it look like? And what does the dojo have to do with anything?”

“We- we’re going to… to fight?” I’d thoroughly thrown him.

“Yes?”

“I feel like I’m missing something… What kind of fight were you talking about, a street fight?”

“Dance-off, bro. Me and you.”

A shout of laughter from the audience, followed by an “I understood that reference,” from one Steve Rogers. Good to see my favorite antique was keeping up with pop culture.

“I… I don’t dance.” Stark was stuttering now, a very good sign.

“Oh, really?” Rin stepped in. “Huh… So what is this?” She pulled up a screen of Stark dancing, b-boy style. “Oh, I knew it. There was a spider in your shirt, wasn’t there? I told you, Luna!”

“Very funny.” Stark grumbled. “And I’m not going to dance. I’d rather run around the tower, stark naked, than dance.”

“Oh, come on, Starky-warky… You know you want to. We can even supply you a fresh spider for inspiration!” I beamed back at his glare.

“You wanna fight dirty? Fine. JARVIS!”

“Yes, sir?”

“Where’s my supersuit?”

“Sir?”

“Where – is – my – super – suit?”

“Oh, that?” I cut in. “I put it away.”

Stark was livid by this point. “WHERE?”

“Why do you need to know?”

“I need it. JARVIS!” He shouted at the poor, innocent, AI.

“Sir, the suit seems to have disappeared… My cameras went down for a few minutes last night.”

My grin widened. “What’s the matter, Stark?”

“His ego’s in danger,” Rin answered for him. He growled in response.

“My dance-off’s in danger!” _I am the master of melodrama… This is priceless. Today is a good day._

“You tell me where my suit is, Luna! I’m not dancing. It’s for the greater good.”

“’Greater good?’” Rin cut in again. “She is your _Soulmate_. She is the greatest ‘good’ you are _ever_ gonna get!”

Laughter from the edge of the mat. We high-fived. Who, us? Immature? Never.

“Here’s the deal, Stark. Dance-off, or I zap you into a tutu and dance with you anyway.”

“Don’t give in to her, Stark!” Hawkeye shouted. “I’ve always thought you’d look good in a tutu!” Our audience dissolved into giggles all over again.

“… Fine.” Stark stripped off the top of his gi, the undershirt following. I tried to remember how to breathe.

_Damn, I knew he was pretty but… damn…_

Rin pulled up the tablet she’d linked with JARVIS, and started the playlist we’d constructed the night before.

I listened to the beat, felt it, let it pulse over me, through me, in me, and move me. All the music we’d chosen was stuff I’d danced to before, in underground clubs and on the streets. Music I’d found worked with my odd dance style: a blend of hip-hop/b-boy and bellydancing that had evolved in my years of patrolling with my mom. She’d wanted me to see the diversity of cultures in our own country, and I’d been fascinated by the way they moved. I’d started out blending their moves with martial arts techniques. And as they got to know me, they’d taught me more and more. Stark might have taken classes, but I’d learned from the innovators on the streets. He wouldn’t even know what hit him.

His style was stiff, but not as rigid as most who’d learned in a studio. He caught on quickly, incorporating moves I was using into his own style, modifying them, and building the dance-off with me.

What had started out as a dance-off slowly morphed into something else. Instead of trying to out-do each other, we were playing off each other. I went from showing him up to building him up, and vice versa.

We moved closer together as the playlist progressed, not minding the sweat that was glistening on our skin. Each song brought us closer, our styles merging and intertwining, until we ourselves were moving together. It was like when Rin and I fought together, in many ways. We were so aware of where the person was, what they were doing, and what we could do to integrate and complement what they were doing. At the same time, it was completely different: the movements were hypnotic, designed to tease and seduce. While Tony kept his hands from straying, seemingly the perfect gentleman, my heart was racing, and not from physical exertion.

Our dance-off had become a duet.

As the final song ended, we found ourselves face-to-face, our noses almost touching, our bodies in a pose oddly reminiscent of the tango hold, though our hands were… elsewhere. Tony’s hands were at the back of my head and the small of my back and the back of my neck, while mine had found their way to his shoulder and one of his sides. 

We froze there, the music that had been guiding us gone, still in our pose as we realized where we were, and _how_ we were.

An “Oh, kiss already!” from Nat pulled me back to reality, and I pushed away from Tony, stumbling back to the towel that Rin was holding out, blushing furiously.

_Oh, gods, I forgot everyone was watching that…_ “Well, um… I- that- I clearly won.” I managed.

The heat in Tony’s eyes suggested we both had won – and lost. “If you say so.” He rumbled. “I think we should have a rematch.” He stalked toward me. “One with less clothes.”

“The- the, um… The Ancient Greeks did that, all oiled up… but they were male-only fights, so…” I fled for the elevator doors. “You’re welcome to challenge the other boys! I’ll bring the popcorn!”

Rin slipped in through the elevator doors just as they closed, Tony standing cross-armed outside. We both knew he could have made it in there. I wasn’t sure whether I was glad he was giving me space or not...

“Are you okay?” Rin finally asked.

“I… I’m not sure. I think so.”

“That was… interesting.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. If I wasn’t Ace…”

“Ha! I’ll have to ask JARVIS for a copy of the recording.”

“You’ll have to ask for some extra batteries, too.” She smirked.

“RIN!”


	20. Drink 'Til You Die

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> GhostxWriter kept bugging me about this one... the suffering, y'all. So she's to thank for me finally sitting down to do it.

"What does one do with a 'Thor?'" I asked, sipping my tea.

Rin just stared at me a moment. "I'm sorry?"

"I don't want to just kick his butt... It's not about earning respect, it's about teaching a lesson. And Thor's the type to just be proud if I kick his ass."

"Hmmm..." 

"HOLY SHIT!" I left my tea hanging in midair as I jumped up.

"What?" Rin didn't even twitch at my outburst, having dealt with me for years.

"DRINKING."

"... I beg your pardon?"

"Think about it... He's used to being able to drink everyone under the table. _I_ can drink everyone under the table. I think it's time for the pretty, pretty princess of Asgard to be dethroned. At least as drinking champion." _It's times like these I really wish I had a mustache to twirl evilly..._

Rin and I shared an evil grin. "Oh, I'd pay money to see that."

"You won't have to... I'm pretty sure I can talk Tony into funding this little soirée."

* * *

"STARK!" I practically flew into the common room, where JARVIS had told me the inventor was relaxing. He was slouched on the couch, eyes shut, the TV on only for white noise.

One eye opened, then the other, a sly smile stealing across his face. "Back for the rematch? I still say it'd be better with less clothes."

"No, no." I waved the thought away.

"Mmm." His eyes slid closed again, a quiet dismissal.

"Stark!" Nothing. "STARK!" Still nothing. 

I glared down at him, arms crossed. I looked to Rin, who just shrugged, heading over to the bar to scout what alcohol was on hand. _Fine, you wanna play? Let's play._ I placed one knee next to his hip, throwing my other leg across his lap. As his eyes flew open, I slid my hands into his tousled hair, pinning his head to the back of the couch. His hands slid up my thighs, coming to rest on the small of my back, inside my shirt. I gasped and twitched at the cold of his fingers, and he shuddered as I moved over him.

When he managed to grumble "having second thoughts about that rematch?" his voice was rough, his breathing uneven.

"No." 

We stared at each other a moment, then Stark stubbornly shut his eyes.

"Stark?" Nothing. _Dang it!_ I tried shifting my hips, gliding against him, but other than some muffled delightful sounds, got no response. "Tony, pretty please? With a cherry on top?" Not even a glance. His cold fingers slid to rest on my thighs, holding me in place. _Then she got an idea. An awful idea. The Dreki had a wonderful, awful idea._ 'Rin?' I caught her eyes over the bar.

'Yes?'

'Would you please bring me an ice cube?'

She grinned, 'Oh, I'd be happy to.' She glided soundlessly across the floor, then popped an ice cube into my waiting mouth. I shifted on Tony's lap again, enjoying the barely perceptible clenching of his fingers on my hips.

Then I slid the ice down along his neck, ending with a nip at the crook of it. Tony jerked beneath me, his eyes flying wide open. "SHIT!"

"AH! There are those beautiful eyes." I managed around the dwindling ice cube. He tried to glare at me, but it was heat of a different kind in his eyes. 

I licked the edge of his jaw with my still-cold tongue, and he finally groaned. "Fine, Luna... I give up. What do you want?"

"Alcohol."

That got his attention. "Excuse me?"

"I'm going to drink Thor under the table... which is going to take a lot of alcohol. Thought you could help me get it?" I grinned at him.

He frowned. "He's an Asgardian... it won't work. Unless..."

"Unless what?" We sat in silence a moment, my impatience growing, and suddenly I was airborne. "WHAT THE HECK?!" I found myself seated on Loki's lap a moment later, my head tucked under his chin as he stroked his hand up the outside of my thigh, clearly agitated. 

For his part, Tony crossed his legs, hiding how I had affected him. _Oooh, I am good... It's not gloating if it's a fact, right?_

"Calm down, Frosty, no need to get jealous. She was just asking me for a favor." I could feel Loki start to reply, but Tony steamrolled him. "One that you could help with, actually."

The hand on my thigh stilled. "What favor? And why would she come to you?"

"Why d'you think he can help?" I asked Tony.

"She wants to challenge Thor to a drinking contest... which will go faster with Asgardian mead."

"A drinking contest."

"That's what she said." Tony shrugged, his legs still carefully crossed.

"I'm gonna go. Drink. WIN!" I exclaimed in my (admittedly terrible) Edna Mode impression.

"You really believe you can drink more than my brother?" Loki asked, turning me to face him.

"Hell, yeah! I'm a badass, in case you hadn't noticed." I gave him my best 'badass' look. And flipped off Tony when he laughed.

"I'll be in charge of bets." Rin threw in from her bar-stool. The darn traitor had fixed herself a drink, rather than helping me when Loki went all "possessive caveman." _Hard to be mad, though, with his hands on me..._ "$300 on Luna, easy."

'Seriously? Only $300?' I thought at her.

'Well, I _could_ bet more, but I'm going to let Stark raise the stakes, play coy, and then double whatever he offers to put on Thor. I'm sneaky like that.' She shot back smugly.

"How about some real money?" Stark had perked back up on the couch... Well, parts of him at least. It seemed he'd finally gotten certain *ahem* _other_ parts back in check.

'Oh, it's almost too easy,' Rin winked at me, then turned back to Stark, as they started bidding.

"He fell for that so easily." Loki mused beside me.

"Wait, what?"

"I suppose I could acquire some mead... Do you prefer Cyser, Perry, Morat, Rhodomel, Capsicumel, Omphacom-"

"What do you mean he fell for that easily?" I interrupted.

He arched an eyebrow at me. "God of mischief, trickery? How could I not know? Now, back to mead types-"

"Does it matter?"

He looked at me like I'd asked if the sky was blue. "Of course it matters."

"We're drinking to get drunk, not to- Nevermind. Just bring what you like, okay? I trust your taste... I guess." _I still don't think it matters..._

He sighed, setting me to the side as he stood. "I'll be back by this evening... Assuming you want this sooner rather than later?"

"You got it."

He glanced over at Rin and Stark, a smile ghosting across his face. And I just couldn't help myself. 

I stood on tip-toes and kissed the corner of Loki's mouth. He froze, eyes turning slowly to mine. _Okay, maybe I should have thought that through..._ I tried to keep from blushing. He stepped in, taking my shoulders in his hands. He slowly bent down, gauging my reactions... 

_Okay, this is too much... I'm not ready for this...._ Panic mode engaged, and I did the first thing that came to mind.

I patted his head.

"Good Loki.... stay." I backed away slowly, Loki frozen like a statue in shock.

Silence reigned for a few glorious moments, even Rin and Stark staring in awe at my peculiar brand of awkward. And then the laughter started, and I bolted for the elevator.

Loki was still bent over the place I had been when the doors started closing.

"Did... Did she just... _pat_ me?"


	21. Thunderstruck

"Okay, what should I wear to this ass-kicking? On the one hand, I could look sexy as hell, but on the other hand... pyjamas...."

Rin perched on my bed. "I guess it depends. It's a drinking contest, but it's not like you're going to be doing shots on the bar, so you can wear whatever the hell you like."

"But... but comfy..." 

"Fine... what about yoga pants and a crop top?"

 _I don't want to have to suck it in all night..._ "OOH! IDEA!" I ran to my closet, and started whipping through the hangers.

"You gonna share your idea with me, or what?"

"What about leggings and a tunic top... or maybe a dress? Cute, but functional, and comfy."

"That works... and it'll be roomy, for when you're drinking like a fish."

"Exactly!" I threw a pair of leggings and a soft, tunic-style shirt on the bed. "What do you think?"

"Problem solved."

We beamed at each other. "This is gonna be good."

* * *

When we arrived down at the common room - the agreed drinking place - we found almost all of the Avengers gathered, ready to watch, though there was talk of taking regular drinks to our shots/glasses of Asguardian mead. Bucky was missing, but Sam Wilson was back. I waved at him, then turned to business.

"Alright, we're drinking until one of us passes out. No playing dirty of any kind, just good ole fashioned drinking. We drink pints until we start getting drunk, then switch to shots, so we can have a definitive winner. Last woman standing, wins."

"Or man." Thor interjected.

"Oh, poor honey... you really think you have a chance of winning..." I smiled at him as innocently as I could manage. "Bless your lil heart." 

I started setting up glasses as Thor gaped at me. Tony sauntered over to him, and I barely overheard his whisper, "Just accept she's going to kick your ass. It's going to happen, might as well make peace with it." 

Banner was getting ready for curing the hangovers some would be facing tomorrow morning. Steve, gentlemanly as ever, started prepping glasses with me. Sam stepped over to join us.

"Oh my gods, Wilson, just go talk to her." _The poor boy can hardly look away... Better to get it over with, one way or the other._

"What?"

I rolled my eyes. "It's obvious you have a thing for my roomie. Go talk to her. She doesn't bite- Oh, wait, she does...." _Oh, my... is that... Did I just float him? Oh, darling little subby boy... Rin's gonna like you..._ "Go on... talk to her."

"About what?"

"I dunno... drinking? You'll figure it out." I pushed him in her direction, discretely watching as he slowly made his way to her side.

He fidgeted a moment under her gaze, then got himself together. "Drink duel, milady?"

My eyes widened in time with Rin's... we both recognized those words. Her eyes shot to mine, and I wiggled my eyebrows at her.

Rin took a moment before she replied, letting her eyes wander down his body, then sliding back up to catch his gaze. " _Yowza._ "

Sam looked at her blankly. "'Yowza?'" Then the light bulb went off. "YOWZA!"

'Oh, I like him,' Rin thought at me. 

'Better than you know...' I thought back.

'What?' I felt her rifle through my thoughts, leaving my mind open to her. 'Oh... oh, yes... I can work with that...'

I grinned at her, and started pouring drinks. This would be a night to remember.

* * *

 _I should probably not be allowed to drink._ I wasn't sure when I had decided this was a good idea, but my body had processed some more alcohol, so things were a little clearer, and- _Body shots are probably not the best way to kick someone's ass..._

Thor's tongue circled my navel, his hands pressing me down into the bar as I shivered... 'wouldn't want to spill, now, would we?' his eyes said, the spark of humor firmly alight as he finished his shot.

"My turn!" I chirped, a little too happily. I spun to a sitting position on the bar, tugging Thor close between my thighs. I licked his neck, sprinkled salt, and pressed the lime wedge between his teeth. _I hate tequila... but some things are worth it..._ I downed the shot, licked his neck, and wrapped my arms around him as I pulled the lime wedge into my mouth. His hands tightened on my hips, then he pulled me up into his arms, and off the bar altogether. 

He made it a few steps before he tumbled backwards, the alcohol catching up to him. Loki hissed in air, fretting from the sidelines.

We sat stunned a few moments, then collapsed into giggles.

* * *

Thor was starting to sway a little bit... And so was I, truth be told.

"ANOTHER!" He went to smash the glass on the ground, Loki catching it at the last moment and refilling. Loki and Banner were the only two choosing not to participate. A grudge match had developed between Natasha and Clint, Tony had goaded Steve into drinking Asgardian mead, and the two were passed out - _wait, are they snuggling?_ \- on the couch. Rin had trounced Sam in their drinking contest (Banner had him set up with fluids for the night, so he was likely the best off of us all), and was now waiting for her money to roll in. 

I turned unfocused eyes to Thor, and downed another shot... _Isssh it juss me? Or iss heeeee lookin' a lil greeeen?_

He downed his shot, and...

**THUD.**

_Ohhhh... therre he goesssss. Yaaayyy!_

I stood on wobbly legs, grabbed the nearest person (Loki) by the lapels, and kissed him hard on the lips. He pulled back a bit, looking down at my glowing face.

"You are inebriated, sweet one."

"I'mmmm not inee-ane-inebebriated!" _Verrey conbinc-convin-vonvinc- ... Verrey real. Yesh._

He laughed and hugged me, stroking along my back. "If you say so." He sat me down, handing me a glass of water to drink as he cleaned up. 

_Thor looksh con-comfy... on the floor... like a biiig pillow..._ I wobbled over to him, and snuggled up next to the snoring god. _Mmmmmm.... warrrrrmmmmmmm...._

I was faintly aware of Rin suggesting to Loki that he move me to a bed, so I wouldn't be stiff in the morning.

"Come, little dreki..." He tried to pull me into his arms. "To bed with you."

"No." I clung to Thor's arm.

"No?"

"Don' wanna."

Loki sighed, and Rin shrugged. She handed him a blanket, then headed for bed. Loki carefully spread the blanket over me, then turned to get up, presumably to finish cleaning.

"No." I wrapped an arm around Loki's waist, and pulled him back into me. "We's gonna snuggle."

"Luna, I-"

"No."

"But-"

"No."

"... alright." He turned in my arms, curving around me, pulling me to his chest. Thor rolled in his sleep, and I was in a little god/dragon sandwich, very happy about it, and more than a little drunk. 

I purred as I drifted off to sleep.


	22. French Kissing and French Toast

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HUGE shout-out to BigMammaJamma, Quinn898, Laura, MoonShadow666, possum456, lilylover, Kia21097, and Cookies
> 
> And, of course, GhostXWriter
> 
> Without your comments, I wouldn't have found the time in my schedule to write what's been floating around for a fair while.
> 
> Thanks for bearing with me, all you lovely little hatchlings! You are good eggs. *pats heads* Good eggs.

_Mmmmmm? Where am- Holy Hades, I'm stiff.... Am I- Am I sleeping on the floor? **Why** am I sleeping on the floor? _ I opened my eyes, only to find myself eye-to-chest with one trickster god. _Awwww, he stayed..._ My backrest started grumbling, making me twist in Loki's arms to see Thor waking up behind me, then tucked my head back under Loki's chin. _He's going to be so hung-over... HA! Brilliant._ Dreki don't get hangovers, presumably as part of the whole healing-powers thing... Norse Gods? Not so much.

I felt Thor stretching along my spine, as one hand brushed down my side, seemingly to assure him that I was still there. A quick nuzzle behind my ear, and he was up, though he didn't try to wake me. _I'm surprised he can get up, considering how much he drank last night..._

I could hear some groaning from the direction of the couch, presumably from Tony and Steve. Who were likely still snuggled up together, bless their adorable hides. A "GET OFF OF ME, YOU STAR-SPANGLED SON-OF-A-BETSY-ROSS!" confirmed my suspicions... I was going to need JARVIS to make me hard copies of the tapes before Tony got to them. Because reasons. 

I jolted when my hair started getting brushed out of my face, but calmed quickly as I realized Loki was awake. "Good morning." He said, cautiously.

"Yes, it is! It just occurred to me that Thor's going to be hella hungover, which is just icing on the I-drank-him-under-the-table cake!" I pulled away to grin at Loki, who didn't grin back. "What?"

"I... wouldn't count on it." 

"What?"

"Ah! You have awoken! Come break your fast, I shall make eggs and bacon for everyone!"

_He's... He's not hungover... He's not even grumpy... How DARE he be chipper?!_ I sat up to confront his rebellious ass. "Why are you so _happy?_ I beat you!"

"Yes, you did! Quite the warrior, our soulmate!" He slapped the shoulder of a far-less-chipper-than-usual-looking Steve, who was presumably on his way to the showers.

"But- but-" I couldn't do anything but sit there, dumbfounded.

Loki stretched, stood, and patted my head. "Best to just move on... He doesn't stay down long. Besides, he takes the accomplishments of others as a personal victory." He headed after Thor, leaving me still sitting in our pile of blankets.

Tony was still seated on the couch, accepting pain pills and water from Bruce (Steve no longer in sight, meaning I'd missed my teasing window, unfortunately). "JARVIS! I need last night's footage. Go ahead and wip-" I flew across the room and slapped my hand across his mouth.

He quirked an eyebrow at me.

"Don't. You. Dare." I slowly pulled my hand away from his mouth.

"Oh? And why shouldn't I?"

"You're going to be too distracted."

"By wha-?" He didn't finish the word, getting distinctly distracted by my nipping my way down his jawline. _And Fury thought there wasn't a way to shut him up.... Though I suppose Fury hasn't tried this method. Maybe I'll suggest it next time I bump into my favorite cyclops._

Tony went ahead and pulled me fully into his lap, taking the opportunity to slide his hands up under my tunic top. I shivered as they traced up my spine, heading straight for my- "Did you just undo my bra?"

"Maybe. It's been years since I fooled around on the couch, but I remember this was how it was done." 

"Oh my gods, you're an over-sized teenager."

"Oversized in every way." He wiggled his eyebrows at me.

"Well, if we're going to do this, let's do it right." I straddled him, lacing my hands into his hair. I pushed his head back, pinning him to the back of the couch, as I rocked on his lap. I slid my tongue along his lips, waiting for it to open on the gasp I knew was coming. His hands shot down to my hips, trying to control the speed and pressure. I let him, more focused on kissing my way from his mouth, up his jawline, to his ear. I kissed the lobe, then pulled it into my mouth, biting it lightly. He groaned.

"I've got the footage." Rin said from behind me.

"PERFECT!" I hopped off Tony's lap, high-fiving Rin on my way to the kitchen. "Do you think I could talk Thor into making French Toast?"

"Wait, what?" Tony still wasn't up to speed, his hands still frozen in mid-air where my hips had been.

I sighed and turned back to him, re-hooking my bra in the meantime. "Tony, dahling, don't you know? It's a time-honored tradition of fooling-around to leave your partner with blueballs." I skipped off into the kitchen.

* * *

"What do you mean, you 'don't know french toast?'" I glared at Thor, who - to be fair - looked repentant.

"Oh, I love french toast!"

I spun around to find Steve, fresh from the shower, a towel casually slung around his shoulders as he continued drying his hair. I think it stands testament to my love of food that I didn't take advantage of the fact that he'd only thrown on sweatpants. I mean, I could have licked my way from the waistband, up his bare, toned body, to his neck, and you gotta be strong to resist that sort of blatant temptation. Instead, I grabbed him by the shoulders pinning him to the nearest wall. And asked, with all my dignity "Oh-my-gods-will-you-make-french-toast-this-heathen-doesn't-know-how-and-I-would-do-ANYTHING-for-some-damn-french-toast!"

He just stared down at me.

I resisted the urge to shake some sense into him. "WELL?"

"You really like french toast, don't you?"

_I'm gonna kill him._

"If you know how, you'd better make some... Don't stand between Luna and food. Trust me on this - voice of experience." Rin ambled into the kitchen, grabbing the plate of scrambled eggs, toast, and bacon that Thor was holding out to her as she made her way over to the table. 

"Please? Please-please-please-pleeeeaaaseee!" Yeah, be jealous of all my dignity.

"Alright." He finally acquiesced 

"YES!" I threw my arms around him, hugging my french-toast-savior.

"On one condition." 

"Sure- Wait, what? But... but you're the good kid! The wheeling-dealing-scam artist is Tony!"

"HEY!" came from the living room, but we all ignored it.

"Doesn't matter. I know the value of a good meal."

"And... what _is_ the value of a good meal?" Do I even want to know?

"A date." 

_I'm gonna wipe that smug look right off his- Wait, what?_ "What?"

"A date. You and I, dinner, then some dancing. Just the two of us."

I glared at him. "What you're saying is you want me to cook for you, be a 'lady.' No. Uh-uh. Not gonna happen. Look here, you little-"

"I'll cook. I'll set everything up. All you have to do is show up." He smiled shyly at me. "You don't even have to dress up. You can show up in sweatpants with your hair looking like a bird's roosting there, for all I care. Just- just show up." He started shifting from foot to foot, his shoulders folding forward, the pre-serum Steve's insecurities peeking through.

And damned if I didn't melt like butter on some damn french toast.

"Okay... but you have to dress up. Look sharp. You got that? If I'm going on a date, you'd better look darn good." I tried to hold on to my self-control, but the glow that happened in Steve's face? Putty. I was absolute putty. "Dang it." I kissed the tip of his nose, then pushed him in the direction of the stove, discretely getting in a little friendly butt-squeeze on the way. For science. 

His wink told me he'd noticed... and approved. 

I blushed all the way to my seat. 

"I would have made french toast for you, if he was too useless to." Rin said between bites.

"Then why didn't you say anything?"

"You didn't give me a chance, and you just about never want breakfast. Besides, you never let people service you.... Nice seeing how the other half lives, isn't it?"

I blushed as the assorted Avengers chuckled. And I - being my mature, responsible, self - I stuck my tongue out at her. So there.

My french toast arrived, hot off the stove and hand delivered by one hot Capsicle. I tried a bite, closed my eyes... And moaned aloud. 

When I opened my eyes again, three of my soulmates were staring at me. A crisply-dressed Tony was standing in the doorway, staring at... Steve?

"What _exactly_ did you do?" He asked, staring Steve down.

"I... made french toast?" Steve pointed at the deliciousness on my plate.

Tony started for my plate, and I pulled it towards me, hissing at him.

"She's a little protective of her food." Rin supplied over my head. "If you want french toast, you'd better get your own."

His eyes returned to mine. "That good?"

I nodded, slowly. Then pointedly stabbed a bite, and brought it slowly to my mouth, relishing the moment. I mean, sure, a little syrup made its' way over my lip, but-

Before I could lick my lip, Tony was there, licking it for me. I froze.

"Mmmmm.... I think I will have some french toast, actually." He sauntered toward the kitchen.

"You can either kill him or finish your french toast." Rin piped up from behind me.

I turned slowly to look at her. "OR I could finish my french toast, and _then_ kill him." A plate clinked down across the way from me, as Tony settled down to his breakfast.

"When you're done glaring daggers at me, there's another batch of french toast waiting for you."

"... It's hard to stay mad when they're giving me food." I grumbled into my plate.

"Yes, you suffer so... Speaking of suffering, don't you still have one butt to kick?"

Ah, yes... Let "Soulmate Wars, Part IV: the Plotting" begin.


	23. How Lovely to Be a Woman

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dagnabbit, Clenhian had to go puttin' ideas in mah thinker. Sooooo..... Congrats. Y'all are getting an early update because I have no self-control when inspiration hits. Darn it.

"So... I have a date with the patriotic Dorito."

"I'm well aware?" Rin cocked an eyebrow over her tablet. 

"I'm still thinking up proper retribution for Loki."

Rin set her tablet aside, and headed for the kitchenette area to make tea. Gods, but I love that woman. "Alright, tell me what you're thinking so far."

"Well, it can't be a magic fight. We've done that; there's no fun in it. And I don't want to beat him in hand-to-hand, as I don't think that would really make a statement... after all, he's lived with Thor all his life, so he's definitely been beaten physically. I don't think he cares about Earth dances, and... well... It's kinda hard to see how to teach him a lesson without - you know - destroying him?"

"Hmmmm..." She set a cup of Earl Grey in front of me, settling in with a cup of green tea herself. "So what are you thinking?"

"I don't even know... I'd be open to suggestions?"

"Hmmmmmm... rap battle? I've heard about him being silver-tongued. And I know you've done rap before."

"Slam poems. Not the same thing."

She grinned at me. "Well there was that one time-"

"You promised never to mention that!"

"I didn't mention it, you did." She sipped her tea.

"... Whatever, Kermit." I reminded myself that she had ever-so-nicely made me tea, and that we do _not_ kill people who make us tea. Even if they're little sass masters.

"Kermit? Like from the Muppets? How does that make any sense?"

"Oh, never mind." I grumbled into my tea.

"Does the rap battle idea work, or do we need to keep thinking?"

"I don't know... I mean, do I really think I can take on Mister Silver-tongue himself?"

Rin shrugged. "Maybe? But hey, there's no time limit on butt-kicking. When's your date with the Star-Spangled-Stud?"

"We didn't set a date or anything, but-"

"Why don't you have your date tonight? Free up your mind, let your subconscious stew for a while. I'm sure you'll come up with something."

"True, true... Hey, JARVIS?"

"Yes, Ms. Draconis?"

"Where's my supersoldier?"

"I believe he's 'working over the bag,' as they say."

"... Is that a euphemism for masturbating, JARVIS?"

"No, Miss."

"If you say so." I winked at Rin, who was cracking up on the sofa... By which I mean I got a muffled chuckle/snort kinda sound (which is more impressive than it sounds)... "Could you patch me through to wherever he's 'working over the bag,' please?"

"Of course." 

The sound of labored breathing and quick footsteps could be heard before "Luna?" came across the line.

 _Don't think about hot, sweaty, shirtless Cap. Don't think about hot, sweaty, shirtless Cap. Don't think about hot, sweaty, shirtless Cap.... You're thinking about hot, sweaty, shirtless Cap, aren't you?_ "Ah- Yes! Yeah, it's me." _I'm totally thinking about hot, sweaty, shirtless Cap. Darn it._

"What do you need? Are you alright? I can be up there in-"

"I'm fine!" I cut in, hearing the worry in his voice. "I was actually... I was wondering... You know cooking takes a long time... and, um." I looked at Rin, who was blatantly staring at my fumbling attempts. She gave me the "go on" hand gesture. "How long would you need to- Hey! So! I was thinking we could have dinner, and I mean.... You-can-order-in-some-food-if-you-want-but-maybe-we-can-have-dinner?" I got out in a rush.

Rin mimed a slow clap at me. I flipped her off.

"You want dinner tonight?"

"I mean, if you wanted. But we don't have to. I was just, you know-"

"Tonight would be fine- great, actually!" I could hear the rustle of fabric as he presumably gathered up his change of clothes.

"Great! Do you, um, need me to bring anything?" Rin was making a hanging gesture, and I couldn't figure out for the life of me what it meant.

"Just your beautiful self, and your appetite!" I could feel his grin down the line, and I grinned back like an idiot, in spite of Rin's eyes on me.

"I, um... I can do that!" I squeaked out before the comm cut out. I stood there, smiling like the brainless moron I sometimes am, then turned back to my roomie. "So what the hell does _this_ mean?" I asked, mimicking her hanging gesture.

"You're killing it." She deadpanned at me.

"... I hate you, you know that?"

"Oh, alright, I'll leave you to your thoughts."

"Bitch, get back here, you know I need all the help I can get getting ready for this."

* * *

I sent Rin back to our apartment for my outfit; I knew the perfect one. 

I'd bought it on a whim years ago, indulging my love of classic film. It was a long, black, off-the-shoulder gown. The exact gown, in fact, that Katharine Hepburn had worn in "Woman of the Year," back in 1942. What can I say? I dig the classics. It didn't hurt that Hawky-poo had mentioned Steve loved "Woman of the Year" in passing during a movie-night debate. The fact that I remembered that was slightly stalker-ish, but in my defense, he was my soulmate.

Where the hair was concerned, I had to call in reinforcements. Rin suggested calling in Thor, but I didn't trust him to keep his mouth shut. Or to be able to pull off the hairstyle. Instead, I called a nearby salon, and asked if they could do the style I wanted.

45 minutes later, Rin was back with my dress, and a salon artist was putting the final touches on my hair. We'd settled on soft curls down my back, with a victory roll in the front, which looked a bit off to me, but what do I know about hair? I just put mine in a braid and hope it doesn't strangle me in the night.

JARVIS' voice cut in from overhead. "Miss Draconis, Mr. Barnes is in the elevator. Would you like me to let him in?"

We all looked down at my peace-sign-and-smiley-face bathrobe. I shrugged. "What the hell, let 'im in, JARVY." 

The doors slid open to find a nervous Bucky, carrying a bouquet of orchids. "Steve wanted me to bring you-" He stopped in his tracks, and stared. 

And stared.

And stared. Finally, I started getting nervous. Sure, I was a badass dreki warrior, but I wasn't wearing any makeup. And I was still in my fuzzy dragon slippers (a gift from Rin. And yes, I love them). "What?"

"No."

"What?"

"No-no-no. NO." He marched over to my chair, set the bouquet carefully down on the vanity, and turned back to me. "This isn't right. Hold on." 

And suddenly his hands were in my hair, twisting and pinning. " _There_." He spun me back to the mirror. 

I looked.... perfect. Whatever had been wrong with my victory roll, he'd fixed it. "How'd you know how to do that?" I asked, gingerly touching my hair.

"I wouldn't want a lady to look like she had _too_ good of a time with me when I escorted her home, Doll. How would that look?"

Rin sauntered over to take a look at his handiwork. "Hmmm... I might have to keep you." She winked at him, then turned to me. "Don't you think? He's good with his hands." Her eyes wandered down his body, and I could tell she was thinking about all sorts of kinky goodness.

"You can have me any way, any time, ma'am."

 _Suck up._ I snarked internally. 

Rin seemed to take finding her final soulmate in stride. "Oh, I like him already." She licked her lips, and I decided it was time to move the evening along.

"BUT some of us have to get changed. So out with you! Go on! Unless you want to explain to Steve why you saw me naked before he did?"

"Oh, so he _is_ going to get to see you naked?" Bucky cocked his head to one side.

The blush burned through me so fast I almost singed my immaculate victory roll. 

"Alright, alright." Rin turned Bucky by the shoulder, directing him out the door. "I'll deal with you later. And not a word of this to Cap, understand?"

A nod and a salute, and he was gone.

Just a bit of makeup, and we'd be ready to rock and roll. I turned back to the stylist. "If you could hide my blush, that'd be frickin' great, 'cause I get the feeling it's going to be happening a lot tonight."

A nod, and we were off.

* * *

My makeup was perfection, my hair in place. The dress fit like a dream. The whole thing felt unreal, and the butterflies in my stomach needed to take a damn chill pill. 

A knock came from the door to the stairway.

"This is it..." I locked eyes with Rin across the room. "Wish me luck."

"You're gonna be fine. And if anything goes wrong, just contact me. I'll give JARVIS the hiccups so you can escape." She headed to her room with a wave of her hand.

I took a deep breath, and reached for the doorknob. "Here we go..."


	24. Dancing with Doritos

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The dress:  
> https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/originals/8c/a2/b8/8ca2b8333a1b3b63e381165573f0e0a9.jpg

I swung the door open. Cap stood framed in the doorway, his back ramrod straight, looking delicious in dress blues. There was a hint of anxiety in his eyes, but it was quickly swept away in a wash of warmth at the sight of me. I blushed, praying the makeup artist had lived up to her paycheck.

"Wow."

I gave in to the girlish urge to twirl for him. "You like?"

"I love." His hand caressed the side of my face, and I leaned into the touch, giving in to the temptation. "You look like you walked off of the silver screen, back before I froze in the ice..."

"Maybe because you've seen this dress before... Of course, then it was on Katherine Hepburn, and I hardly live up to-"

He pulled back, holding me at arms length so that he could take in the dress. "I thought it looked familiar! I love that movie."

"Maybe we should watch it?"

"Maybe. But not tonight; I have plans for us." He offered his arm, a true gentleman. 

I took the proffered arm, then looked down the stairwell. "You realize heels are not a lady's friend when we have to go down stairs, right? Maybe we should take the ele-"

That was as far as I made it before he scooped me up into his arms, carrying me down the flights of stairs to his floor.

"Oh, I could get used to this." I grinned at him, looping my arms around his shoulders.

"So could I." He grinned back.

"Oh? So you're going to carry me everywhere, now? I'll never have to walk anywhere.... I could wear the cutest, most uncomfortable shoes!"

His chuckle vibrated against my side, setting tingles flying across my skin. "Of course..." He set me down on my feet at his doorway. "If it makes you happy." He pressed forward, and I instinctively stepped back, only to come up against the door-frame. His hands came to rest on the wall and door behind me, framing my shoulders as he leaned in. "Of course, I'll take any excuse to touch you." _Okay, maybe not a "true gentleman..."_

I could feel the blush racing up my cheeks as I stumbled for words. "I-um... It's..."

His thumb traced my cheek. "I love it when you blush..." He kissed my forehead, and opened the door, gesturing me inside. "Ladies first."

"Th-thanks... Wait-" I stopped, turned back to him. "You can see my blush? Dang it, I paid that makeup lady way too much... can't even hide a blush..."

"No, I can't see it... but you duck your head a little bit when you blush - a way of hiding it, maybe? - and you've done that twice so far... Ah! You did it again." He beamed at me, like the cat who's brought home a prize for his mistress. A dead bird. I am ever so proud... 

I lifted my chin, and marched onward into his apartment. A lady never keeps good food waiting... Or maybe that's just me.

The table was set simply - a candlestick, two chairs, and simple plates and flatwear. It wasn't anything fancy, and yet it still felt like he had carefully thought out every detail. I inhaled deeply, trying to place the vaguely familiar scent without cheating and reading his mind. I couldn't place it... the quiet fidgeting from behind me was too distracting. I turned back to my anxious soulmate, and smiled. "It looks lovely."

"I hope so... I know it's plain, but my mother always said it's not about the setting, it's about the food, and the people you share it with..." He gave me a lopsided grin, then strode to the table, pulling out a chair for me. 

"Your age is showing, Cap." I smiled as he blushed. _Fantastic, it's not me turning lobster red this time._ "So, what's for dinner?"

"I hope you like it..." He brought a pot over from the sideboard. "It's corned beef and cabbage, exactly like my mother used to make for Easter. Oh, and soda bread, of course."

There went a twinge in my heart... I hadn't had corned beef and cabbage since I was nine. My father had made corned beef and cabbage every St. Patty's Day, as a celebration of his human father's heritage. After he died in the Trade Center collapse helping the firefighters, my mother hadn't been able to bring herself to make it. Truth be told, I couldn't do it, either.

"And I do mean _exactly_ like my mother made it... How Coulson got his hands on a copy of her recipe, I'll never know... not sure I want to know, either." He steamrolled on, too focused on serving the meal to notice I'd been lost in memory. 

_I think Dad woulda liked this one... Steve's exactly the sort of person he fought to save; resilient, dedicated... with a fondness for corned beef._

"Are you okay?" Steve was looking at me strangely.

I tore myself back to the present, trying to catch up with the conversation. "I'm fine! Fine. Just remembering the last time I had corned beef. It's one of my favorite dishes, I just... haven't had it in a while."

"I'm glad I took the time to make it, then." He smiled, and sat down at his seat, across the table from me. 

_Oh, that simply will **not** do._ I stared at the table a moment. "Nope."

"What?" Steve looked askance at me. "What's wrong?"

I stood, and pulled my chair around to the side of the table, then rearranged my plate and cutlery to match. Only then did I sit back down. "You may have the wingspan of a fucking bald eagle, but I do not." 

"I- Langua- Um... What?" 

"I HAVE LITTLE ARMS AND WANT TO HOLD YOUR DARN HAND WITHOUT VAULTING OVER THE DANG TABLE." 

"... What does that have to do with a bald eagle?"

"Wingspans? Ugh, men." I gave into the desire to roll my eyes.

There was a moment of outright consternation on Steve's face, then he shrugged and tucked my hand in his. "Someday I hope I'm able to keep up with whatever it is going on in your head."

"Good luck; even I have a hard time." 

* * *

"Thank you for cooking... That was incredible." I stood from the table, sorry that our date had to end. 

"Where do you think you're going?" Steve asked, still lounging at the table. "We've only had dinner."

"What else were you thinking?" I asked.

"Jarvis? Do the thing." Steve said, eyes still on me. The room slowly filled with the big band music of the late 1930s. He stood and offered me a hand. "I was hoping you'd dance with me."

 _Shoot, I forgot about the dancing..._ "I'm not wearing the right shoes for dancing." I told him reluctantly, knowing that my stilettos would destroy my feet before I finished the first dance. _Of course, I could float during the dance... It wouldn't be the same, though._

"Here." He guided me back to my seat, then knelt at my feet, his hands tracing gently around my ankle. Next thing I knew, my shoe was off, and his hands were gliding down the calf of my other leg to take off the other shoe. "There." 

"It seems a little ridiculous to be all dressed up with no shoes on." I pretended to grumble.

He stood and toed his own shoes off. "Better? We match." He beamed, that boyish charm destroying what was left of my heart. "Besides, I'd prefer you to be unarmed when you step on my feet, and _those_ -" he gestured to my carefully set-aside stilettos, "look absolutely lethal."

Was that... "Was that a challenge, pretty boy?" I stood toe-to-toe with him.

"You bet it was."

 _Oh, it is on like Donkey Kong._ Little did fancy-pants know, my grandfather had taken me out dancing all the time when I was a teenager, and swing dance was one of my favorite styles of dance... And I preferred to lead. "Bring it."

He put his arms around me, guiding me into the swing dance frame. We started with the standard step... and then I cued him to let me spin under his arm.

Well... I tried, anyway.

He kept on with the basic step, and sent me into the spin when _he_ was ready, then brought me back into him, and stayed on-tempo like a champ. I, meanwhile, resisted the urge to look down at my body and tell it to stop listening to him, and start listening to me - instead focusing on trying to pull him into different steps. We moved through different dances - including a particularly intense jitterbug - all with him leading, and me trying to steal the lead from him. 

As the most recent song came to an end, he dipped me, holding the position with ease. I stared up at him, and he grinned down at me. "You really don't like being out of control, do you?"

"Ha! Says who?" I snarked back at him. He just kept grinning. "I'm not very good at following, to be honest.... so it's easier to just lead the dance."

"Maybe you just didn't have the right partner?"

"Are we still talking about dancing?" I quipped back at him.

He laughed, then stood me back up. "I didn't get the chance to thank you for agreeing to have a date with me..."

"Hey, you made me french toast. Fair's fair. But I am curious... who taught you how to dance? Some girl back in the 1930s?" _I'm not jealous, you are..._

"No..." It was his turn to blush.

"Oh, you've _got_ to tell me now. Who taught you? Stark? Sam? _Bucky_?"

"Natasha, actually... We worked on it while the food was cooking. It was like being in basic training all over again, except this time it was set to music."

"No. Way."

"Yes, ma'am. And I've got the bruises to prove it."

"Poor thing." I brushed some stray hair from his face.

"Poor Nat. I stepped on her toes so many times, it's a wonder she can walk."

"I'll be sure to thank her for the effort."

"She's being paid plenty." The blush returned to his face.

"Oh?" 

"You don't want to know." _Yes, I do!_

"Hmmm...."

"...What are you thinking?" He seemed a little apprehensive. Probably expecting some sort of trap.

"Well, we've been doing the old-fashioned dances, but... nothing I would have done at a high-school dance."

"I don't know about that... I wouldn't know what I'm doing."

"It was high-school. No one knew what they were doing. Here." I guided his hands to the small of my back, then laced my fingers together behind his neck. "Jarvis, if you would?" Some slow-dance music filtered through the speakers, and I started swaying, Steve quickly caught on to the rhythm, moving with me. I rested my head on his chest, and enjoyed the moment.

* * *

All too soon, we were heading back upstairs; me in his arms, with my arm slung around his shoulders, shoes in-hand. 

He set me down outside my door. "Sleep well, Luna." Then he turned to leave.

I dropped my shoes, grabbed his shoulder, and spun him around. My hands found his lapels, and I pulled him into a kiss. His hands hesitated at my shoulders, then slid around my waist, pulling me close. When we finally came up for air, I nuzzled into the crook of his neck, enjoying his fresh, crisp scent.

"Thank you for- for everything." I managed. I pulled away, and headed for the door. It was my turn to be spun around, as he pressed me against the door-frame for the second time that night, this time using the weight of his body to pin me as he kissed me. I was well and truly mussed when he pulled away.

"No, ma'am. Thank you." He stooped and grabbed my shoes, handing them to me. In my haste to get inside before I could realize I should be embarrassed, I'd almost forgotten them. I blushed, and couldn't quite keep myself from unconsciously ducking my head.

He tapped my chin, acknowledging the motion, telling me he knew I was blushing. "I still love it when you blush." He opened the door for me, and guided my dazed little self through the doorway. Then, with a wink, he was gone.

_...Wow..._

"RIN!" I yelled through the apartment. 

She immediately appeared in the doorway to her bedroom. "It doesn't look like Steve mastered the art of fixing a girl's hair at the end of the night... Bucky'll have to teach him that." She caught my look. "Alright, tell me before you explode."

"Buckle up, bitch, have I got a story to dish, or what!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is dedicated to the real-life heroes, both at home and abroad.


	25. Coping and Getting Carried Away

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here, SoupShue, I know it's short, but it makes me giggle ^_^

Scheming is hard. Really, really hard. And to be honest, the guys were growing on me faster than I cared to admit. So I turned to one of the best things in my life; coping mechanisms. Step one: I'd had Rin discretely buy me a set of Avengers plushies, keeping the data carefully hidden from JARVIS' prying... eyes? Servers? You get the picture. Then we had used our awesome stalker abilities to find out what scents and products they were using. Combine the scents with the plushies and voilà! Instant cuddle-buddies with no loss of dignity. Yes, I know; I'm a genius. 

Everything arrived the night of my date with Steve, and I gladly curled up with the stuffed version of the supersoldier for the night. My head was still racing with all the plans Rin and I had started to make a couple hours ago, but when I cuddled into the softly scented cotton... my brain stopped talking at me. Just like magic. The world was quiet, still... and smelled delicious. It was unlike anything I'd ever felt before. I was asleep in minutes.

* * *

I awoke clinging tight to the warmth of my plushie. My blankets seemed to have fallen off the side of the bed, but I wasn't bothered by it. The soft movement of my plushy breathing in and out was quite soothing- _Wait a minute.... Plushies don't breathe!_ "WHAT THE HECK?!"

I jolted upright to find a groggy and somewhat befuddled Steve blinking up at me. From on his back. In my bed.

"WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK ARE YOU DOING IN HERE?!"

I heard the door fly open, Rin rushing into the room to my rescue.

"Who do I need to kill-Oh. Luna, you didn't tell me you were expecting company?" She raised an eyebrow, her voice flitting through my head, _Do you need me to kill him? Or are you okay?_ "Actually, I'm pretty sure you _weren't_ expecting company. So what _exactly_ are you doing here, Capsicle? You know, I haven't killed anyone in over a week; do I need to break my sobriety?"

Steve paled visibly. "But... but... she clearly missed me!"

"In her own room. In her _locked_ room. In her bed.... That you were not invited into?" Rin gave him an eyebrow raise, and looked delightfully unimpressed.

".... Tony sent me to check on her-" Steve tried again.

"And checking on her included climbing, uninvited, into her bed? After breaking into her house?"

".... She was nuzzling that _thing_ ," he gestured to the Captain America plushy, "and saying _my name_!"

"Sleeping persons are not consenting. Even if they talk in their sleep." Rin's unimpressed look intensified.

"Technically she wasn't just _saying_ my name." He blushed.

I had to think about that. "Wha-" _What was I dreaming about again? OH._ And now I was blushing harder than Steve. Great.

"Weren't you listening to the 'even if part' of that sentence? Or do I need to speak louder so that you can hear me?" Rin turned her look on me. "Really?" Then turned back to Steve, and spoke loud and slow, "Talking and/or moaning in their sleep is not an invitation." She paused, then continued. "Since when did Captain America think it was okay to get fresh with a lady?"

And suddenly there were four of us in the room (not counting plushy Steve, bless his heart), as Tony charged in with a yelled "he did WHAT now?!"

"Stevie here is being fresh with my best friend!" Rin shot back. Two pairs of dark eyes turned coldly on the bed.

"Bad Steve!" I whacked his bicep and refused to shake the pain out of my hand. _Damn the man and his muscles-_ "Wait... Is it really 10?"

"... yes?" Rin didn't quite follow.

"I- I think I slept all the way through the night.... without waking up even once..." _I have been blessed with a miracle... and he comes with muscles! Who knew!_

Rin flitted through my thoughts, then sighed. "...I give up. I'm done; keep the little thief. I was so looking forward to having Captain America arrested for breaking and entering, too. But you know, what? Your turn." She patted Tony on the shoulder. "Maybe Robocop here can explain to his antique that you do not get fresh with sleeping females. Especially if you gotta break into their house to do so." She turned to leave, then paused. "Wait a minute. How did blondie get in here? He doesn't strike me as being particularly _tech savvy_." She turned dark eyes on Tony.

"Hey, don't look at me! I asked him to come in and check on her, not climb into bed with her. I'm as mad at him as you are."

"And why, exactly, did you send him here?"

"I..." He had the audacity to look abashed. "I was worried she might have gotten overwhelmed by date night, what with it being so relationship-y..." He murmured.

_Okay, that one made my heart twinge a little bit..._

Rin looked almost impressed at Tony's sensitivity before she pursed her lips and said, "And knocking wasn't invented in the '40s?"

 _Time to rescue the poor guy._ "Aw, it's so hard for me to stay mad when I have had a good night sleep and wake up to pretties, especially pretties being so sweet."

"Bitch, you are ignoring the crimes and the lack of consent on your part because of a good night's sleep?!" Rin was shocked.

"And the pretties!" _They meant well, and they'll learn their lesson._ I said to Rin, aloud and in my mind.

 _They had better._ "Remind me again why I put up with you?" 

"Look, if I sleep this well with him, I'm going to ask for a nightly cuddle-buddy...."

With that, Rin finally threw her hands in the air in exasperation and turned to leave. "I'm going to find someone who'll listen to me . . . And thank me for the privilege."

 _I'm sure Bruce'll love that,_ I whispered in Rin's mind as she flounced out the door.

"I heard something about cuddle-buddies?" Tony piped up.

"Don't get your hopes up, Stark. She's already got two Steves in bed with her. How many more could she possibly need?" Rin called over her shoulder as she stepped into the elevator.

**Author's Note:**

> 1) Posts new chapter  
> 2) Bounces up and down  
> 3) Waits for reaction  
> 4) Looks to audience  
> 5) *crickets*
> 
> Seriously, though. Comments are super appreciated, and I always respond (b/c I have no life).

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [When a Dragon and a Ghost Get Together](https://archiveofourown.org/works/7373428) by [GhostxWriter](https://archiveofourown.org/users/GhostxWriter/pseuds/GhostxWriter), [Luna Draconis (LunaDraconis)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/LunaDraconis/pseuds/Luna%20Draconis)




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